2007 hey?

Seems the popular media dictates that some kind of retrospective is necessary at this time of year, well 2007 hey? There was some highs, some lows and some indifferences. I thought about writing about my favourite stuff of the year, but then I couldn't be bothered, I thought about looking over my life the past year and summing up some highs and lows and couldn't be bothered mainly as I can't remember what I did this year (I think if memory serves me right I released a charity single which was Christmas number one, it was entitled 'When you believe') I thought about making some new years resolutions but sadly I can't be bothered, sadly guys and gals I'm just to shattered from the sales to blog anything of note. Look at the sail I saw. So tall, it tired me out.Geddit? Sales? Sails? Yeah. Sorry that's pretty poor, maybe I'll make amends by doing some kind of a list.

TeeVee I've enjoyed this year: Doctor Who, Flight of the Conchords, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe, Battlestar Galactica, The Office (US), Heroes, Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Yeah those shows have been good, the bestestest ones of the year, they've certainly all been vastly superior to the latest season of 24. Ugh.

Filums I've enjoyed this year: Hot Fuzz, Run Fatboy Run, Superbad, Knocked Up, Bourne Ultimatum, Little Miss Sunshine, Stardust, Ratatouille, Blades of Glory. I've liked the comedy films this year, admittedly some of the films listed aren't amazing, but I've enjoyed them, and they've been better than Pirates 3. Ugh.

Music I've enjoyed this year: Scooch. Enough said.

Life that I've enjoyed this year: hanging out with all the lovely peeps I'm fortunate to know. Yeah! Peeps!

New years resolutions for 2008: Follow up my Christmas number one hit 'When you Believe' under my alias of Leon Jackson with a fantastic album which disses Rhydian for being a ginger traitor for dying his fair, apparently he'll go back to ginger when it is back in fashion, fool, it is always in fashion. Said Leon Jackson.

Here's to 2008, the year I stop being a student scum and become a dole scum. Ugh.The sign fell off my forehead just a second after the photo was taken. Ugh.

It's comforting when Christmas shopping...

...and you're walking around not knowing what to buy loved ones, you bump into your Dad in Debenhams in the same predicament looking around a shop he wouldn't normally go in, just in the hope of finding a Christmas pressie, curse those genes, he's just as bad as me! Although curse those jeans as well, if I was wearing tighter jeans, maybe I'd panic more what with blood supply being slightly cut off.

Why can't I just buy everyone the JML Classic Pen Set from JML Direct, it's nib is indestructible, just look:It can be used as a dart and also be used to stab cans as well as writing! Who wouldn't want that. Certainly be a great toy for those with writers block.

On second thoughts I'll just buy everyone a Mandle Candle.I've spent too much time in Robert Dyas today. I'm currently listening to Clubbed to death, it goes great with the Mandle Candle advert. Certainly delighting me, and entertaining me.

----------------
Now playing: Rob Dougan - Clubbed To Death
via FoxyTunes

On third thought, I'll just get everyone my patented Jeremy Kyle mask.You too can be a complete and utter shit in the comfort of your own living room!

Don't let the bells end

The Dan made a Christmas card for his fans, so here's one for my fans, enjoy!Print it out and pretend that I love you (which I do).

Catching up on the Zees

Terms over, thank fuck, working in the department from 9 AM to 4:30 AM screws up the sleeping patterns, but then I'm a student, I'm not supposed to sleep, just nap. I missed out on the opportunity for free alcohol for a nap, that's how cool I am. Anyway this week I experienced the worst kind of gingerphobia possible when playing bowling, because it's oh so witty to put down jokes names down, I got the indignity of having Ginger Spice put down as my name (I hate Geri Halliwells, Scream if you want her to shut her trap), then it got worse, my name was changed to Anne Robinson. This week I also discovered the simple joys of watching signed music television, well watching a fat lady sign to some timbaland, it's not clever, but it left us in titters, and makes me want to bust some shapes down the roller disco as demonstrated on the teevee. I've also realised this week I really don't need to grow a beard anytime soon, 5 day (ish, I'm loosing track of days, I gather it's christmas soon) of stubble just itched, was annoying, and felt trampish, and I don't want to look like a tramp, might get my ears eaten by Johnathon Creek (ROFLMAO topical humour). To conclude, I shall leave you with a joke which was funny when I was five, and Jerry Seinfeld said that jokes for children and adults are mutually exclusive or summat to that degree [insert comment about how brilliant Seinfeld is]:

A kid had to write a sentence about his holiday to america, so he was going to get on a plane, so he wrote down 'take off', he went to a zoo, and saw a zebra, because he was in America he wrote down 'zeebra', he then was at this restraunt and there was this baby screaming away, so he wrote down 'baby'. He read out his report in school and said 'Take of zee bra baby'. ROFLMAO

Tee Hee Breasts. Actually? was this joke funny when I was five? It certainly isn't funny now, and it's ruddy embarrassing I've transcribed it for you now. Have I even remembered this joke right? Did I ever think it was funny? Was the five year old telling the teacher to take off her bra? That's wrong? This is all so terribly wrong, I'm in dodgy territory here, I didn't want to imply paedophilia on my blog, but oh noes it's happened. Try and have a merry Christmas, but I imagine you're all too shocked by the tone of the blog now, guess it's time to apologize.I want Timbalands to narrate my life wit him saying 'Yeah' at multiple points.

Having Shreddies 'Yeah'
Brushing my teeth 'Yeah'
Having a wank 'Yeah'
Where's the tissues? 'Yeah'

----------------
Now playing: Timbaland - Apologize (feat One Republic)
via FoxyTunes

Suck my days...

Hello there, it's another one of my weekly catch up blog posts where I just randomly list some stuff that happened to me this week keeping it short and sometimes ambiguous in a hope to make it sound much more interesting than it might not already be. Wahee!

This week I laughed myself silly at Matt Lucas and David Walliams on Johnathon Ross and then wept myself silly knowing they're still insisting on producing that Little Britain crap, I saw Karl Kennedy of Neighbours fame at the Student's Union which (let's not pretend it sophisticated in any way) left me with a stupid grin on my face, although a man of Dr. K's age signing Ruby (Roo-Bee, Roo-Bee, Roo-Bee) is a little surreal a sight. I worked until 4:30 in the morning, a disappointingly student achievement, we're supposed to work all night us creatures, well maybe another time soon, like maybe tonight. I also got confused about male toilet conventions, I know we don't chat in the loos like the ladies or go to the loos in pairs, but when a lecturer starts talking to me in the loos (whilst washing the hands, not whilst pointing the pink pistols at the porcelain firing targets) I felt like a rude dick when I wasn't being that chatty, is it allowed by social conventions to chat in the loos? I just don't know. Admittedly I tried it once when a bit wankered, the old toilet chat, but couldn't hear my friend over the hand dryer. Actually maybe I've chatted in the loo twice, some guy in a Camden Weatherspoons called me a cunt, happy days (it was in a friendly way I must stress).

I think that's all I've got share with you for this week, I can't believe I said this blog would be ambiguous, it's not that ambiguous sadly, maybe next week it'll be. To conclude for any of you lovely readers who aren't my facebook friends and won't have seen my new look, here is my new gangster look, enjoy!Word to your mothers if you have lesbian parents.

Back two years ago...

Myself and cohorts in the asbestos filled halls of residence would be wacky and put crazy signs on bedroom doors awaiting people who passed by to leave wacky answers. Wacky!I'm not really making much of a point, more just hoping this wacky piece of paper which has survived two years will raise a smile from you dear reader.

Last few days...

...I got Anthony Cotton of homosexuality fame's autograph, felt a 9 in the evening itch to skip the street of Reading at night (but coming to my senses and deciding I don't want to get beaten up), got an email from a senior professor of Computational sciences entitled Fw: Urgent sexy pictures! and voted for Same Difference on X Factor (making it the first time I've ever felt like phoning in for that lovely show). I also got a strong sense of remorse after finding out my favourite quiz machine with the Pepsi Chart game presented by Neil Fox is broken due to a broken screen, making me deeply regretful for slapping Neil Foxy everytime he appeared on the machine welcoming us to the game. FORGIVE ME NEIL FOX. Like oh my days! I hope the triviality of my days has been of vague interest.

Oh and I changed the banner on this here blog, if that's what you're into. That's a queue for a song!

Student D.I.Y.

I am a student on a bitching coursework heavy based degree, and after a day of heavy coursework bitching I decided to relax and do as many of my forefathers have done, and do the do it yourself. I decided I needed to fix my chest of drawers drawer as the handle snapped off and the general drawer was out of shape. Never fear super glue brought for Warhammer purposes (not mine I must stress) did the job for the fixing the handle, even if I decided also to give my pinky a gluey glow. Alas I had no hammers to put the drawer back into shape, but I had text books read at 6:30 AM for a presentation the same day! Swish!

Next was to fix my bedroom door handle, which as you can see I fixed with an elegant solution.Masking tape with swear words on. Well there was no screwdriver to be found sadly in the house.

Now who wants me to come round their house and practise my student D.I.Y. ways on your house? My rates are cheap, I am a student.

Today

No one wants to read me moan about the amounts of coursework I have at the moment, that's boring, what you do want to read about is my tesco shop today. Well... woe be the tesco, but the tills were working at 50% of their usual speed today (I don't know why, I was more interested in maintaining lad conventions of discussing football with strangers, go the goals!), in the tedium of waiting to be served I had a read of the tesco customer magazine (ooo an interview with Ricky Gervais, me luvs Andy Milman, R U HAVIN A LAFF?) and also featured was Vernon Kay and Tess Daly modelling some lovely tescos clothes. I decided it was amusing to award my friend multiple pictures of Vernon Kay looking modelly/constipated from multiple copies of the tesco magazine. When sadly as I wasn't getting bored of it, but he was, it was then I decided to award other tesco shoppers pictures of Vernon Kay. I slipped in pictures of Mr. Kay in their shopping trolleys slyly to brighten their day. So if any tesco shoppers are reading and found a picture of Vernon Kay in your trolley, your welcome, you're most welcome.

Extracts from my new book...

Maybe available in time for christmas, although I'll just post it on here. Here's a transcript up until I reached secondary school.

Year -1 Kick! Kick! But did I want to come out? Did I fuck!
Year 0 I was born, and woz a screaming pain of a former fetus (waaaaaa!)
Year 1 I aged a year and it was fucking awesome, I now had an age, fuck yeah!
Year 2 Ageing got a bit tedious, been there, done that, but was yet to get the T Shirt
Year 3 I got the T Shirt, well I got a badge that I put on my T Shirt (Almost reached goal).
Year 4 I got a T Shirt with a racing car with a 4 on it, on my fourth birthday, almost coincidence probably.
Year 5 I started school which was cool cos I learnt writing, even though I did that since being a fetus.
Year 6 School was fine and dandy because I could learn adding. 3 + 5 = 8, my favourite.
Year 7 We learnt how to bake bread, use yeast, what ever that is. It don't come from the east.
Year 8 I watched University Challenge, didn't understand it, too many words.
Year 9 I got some shoes, at last I wouldn't have to walk around on just bare feet. I don't enjoy scrubbing my feet.
Year 10 I thought about inventing something cool, but sadly I was unable to think of anything cool.
Year 11 I went to bigger boys school (By bigger, I don't mean erections).

More next week. If I can bothered, and if anyone is interested.

Ruddy Coursework

Bloody coursework on my pretty much mostly coursework degree is just getting me down, and forunatly my MacBook's built in camera is there to capture this feeling of Meh. It's also there to capture my new muscle.Look at that muscle (singular).

I touched up Martha Jone's arse today

She didn't seem to mind too much. Okay it's only a cardboard cut-out in Forbidden Planet (maybe one day I'll get to touch a real ladies bottom), in London, I went else where in London too. To the bfi went I (and a lady friend), for an evening (well an hour and a half) of Robert Webb, David Mitchell, those writers of Peep Show Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong, the producer Phil Clarke and Sam Delaney a presenter I only recognise from shit Telly talking about one of the best shows on the tellybox, Peep Show! The evening had the six men talking about the show (as you would expect) showing video clips including some clips that inspired them such as that Woody Allen chap from a film I gather is rather funny, and a clip from 'Being Caprice' which I gather isn't funny, it's rather dire and boring, but was shot in POV style so could be said to inspire the Peep Show. Praise be if someone as bland as Caprice inspired something so inspired as Peep Show. Huzaah!

They also showed the never seen before Pilot for Peep Show (this should be on DVD! Why is it not on DVD!?!) which was interesting viewing, alot of gags in the pilot could be found in the first series, such as Jeremy's interview with JLB Credit (I'm being nerdy here folks, forgive me, randomness will resume by the end of this blog). What was different was the use of a lot of incidental music which ruined the show, alot of Jez and Mark watching TV which added little to the show and some incredibly disorientating camera work which, whilst more true to the POV format, didn't quite work, thank fuck for some artistic license. All in all it was a lovely evening, some discussion of series 5 (they're writing it!), brief discussion of the america version (they're writing it!), and general discussion of the show in general (they wrote it). Perfect for a Peep Show geek.Look I've got the new DVD as well as some Battlestar Galactica Mock-lego toys. I'm sad. But not as sad as the 'journalist' who wrote this tripe headline in popular London toilet paper the 'London Lite' in regards to everyone's favourite Rihanna.You see what they did there? Ugh.

The reunion we should give a shit over

Take That? Boyzone? Duran Duran? All Saints? Spiced Girls? Fuck any of them, the reunion you should be crying out for is a Hearsay reunion, and you know what, my source tells me we might get one ruddy soon.Why else would a cheapy shop in University Town display a 5 year old poster for Hearsay if it isn't for the simple probable fact that they might be reforming! I for one can't wait, Danny and Noel's stuff just hasn't materalised, I'm angry that Kym Marsh is bonking Steve McDonald in Corrie, Suzanne just shouldn't be doing such filth as rocky horror, and the other one shouldn't be presenting everything! They should be back together! And maybe, they will be soon. Either that or this shop owner hasn't been informed Hearsay have broken up and they should take the poster down.

I gig

What can I say? I live to gig. And last night was no different, in my experience you can judge a good gig by which part of your body hurts the day afterwards, and my leg hurts, so it must of been a good night, because the leg is quite big, probably one of the biggest parts of the body to hurt, so on a sliding scale, this gig must of rocked! Well last night I saw Grease Tribute Act 'Grease is the word'Now I've never seen the film Grease, sure they show it on the TV, and sure I think, one day, I might watch, but I never do, but I gather its like that musical episode of Buffy I've never watched in that it's a musical. Fortunately I loves popular culture, so I knows of the songs of Grease. There's summer nights, Grease lightning, a slow one where you let the couples dance, but damm them Grease is the word, they chuck in some non-Grease songs! Cashback! (not that I paid to see them). They did stuff like Hound dog, Blue suede shoes, Johnny be good and Dammit Johnny, but they be good. So catch Grease is the Word somewhere, so good you'll hurt your leg (that is if you coincidently go to the gig and get forced to do a piggy back and slip up on the same night).

Sign Time for a new time!

Because one person wanted it...I often go out in just my pyjamas, once I went out in just a towel.*

*I kid of course, fear not residents of university town.

But bastard, we've got a question to ask

Have you taken any good photos on your camera phone recently (say today?), well in answer to that question, yes, yes I have, two infact, care to have a look.It's a duck darth vader! Genius, if it weren't for the fact it costs £7.50 for just a standard duck toy painted and slightly reshaped to look like the dark lord of the sith, I would so buy it.This evening for my tea I decided to try some magic, some fried chicken from my favourite take away in Reading town. A Take away so lovely, and so frequented by me that the waiter (it's a classy restaurant, let's call the man's profession what it is) recognised me and called me mate! I had some fried chicken, and was most suprised to read the box and find out I was tasting magic. Did I taste any magic? Alas not, unless friendship with a fast food provider is magic, in that case, then yes.

You'll love these right characters

Coming to a major televisual network sometime whenever.

Enjoy them in their full size and learn their names here, because I'm far too lazy to put them on two places.

Gig Report

You know me long time readers, I love to gig, love it when tunes come from the instruments live in the flesh. I love it when they lay down those beats live infront of their fans. I live to gig. That is why today I am talking about a gig I went to last night, I saw the Village Boyz live in concert (at the student's union bar). And they were awesome.The Village Boyz have been touring for nearly ten years and have even played in front crowds of 45,000. Well last night was an intimate gig for thirty of their biggest fans, and I feel this allows us fans to get up close and personal. Get taken away with their enjoyable forty-five minute set. There set included such Village People hits as YMCA and In The Navy. But also they had a range of songs that far expanded the length of the Village People back catalogue, you could say they are better than the Village People. They did such serious choons as Go West, Macho Man, Car Wash, Disco Inferno, Hot Stuff, Blame It On The Boogie, Night Fever, You Can Leave Your Hat On, Celebration. Hot Stuff being a particular favourite for the men as it allowed them a three minute break to purchase a beverage at the bar whilst the Village Boyz exposed their chests to some randomly selected ladies in the audience. I enjoyed purchasing a drink, and the ladies enjoyed looking at some chests. All in all this forty five minute intimate set for their biggest fans was extraordinary, and fully showcased the talents of the Village Boyz. Catch them at their intimate gigs across student unions whilst you can, and thank me later.

The last time I read a MeMe...

...was Dan's a few days ago, and coincidently it deals with lasts. Sounds fun. Well I am bored. Its about last things and he made it up because he is what people call a genius.

Things that made you laugh (out loud or just in your head)?

I watched quite a bit of comedee teevee tonight, so that's easy.
The Peter Serafinowicz Show (it's improving, still solid stuff, but I still can't remember how to spell his surname, curse my memory).
Scrubs (It's solid comedy that I don't quite like enough to buy on DVD, but still enjoy it).
The Daily Show (Jon Stewart, John Oliver, perfect, even if the more american jokes pass over my head).
The Simpsons (Classic decent simpsons episode, not that movie tripe).

And ummm... something that made me laugh today that wasn't on teevee. Maybe my lecturer, after setting a vague design brief for a project which required half an hour discussion to understand it, said 'May the force be with you'. Just to make it more mysterious. I think he could be a Jedi.

Things you put in your mouth?

Orange and Pineapple and summat else squash,
Cherry Coke,
Chicken, chips and BAKED BEANS.
Breakaway.

A Pen (love the nervous biting of a biro in a lecture. Classic).

Blue things you saw?

I can't remember, I'm just going to looking around my room.
A pack of W H Smiths white tack that I brought to put up my new heroes poster,
Obi Wan Kenobi's lightsabre,
The 'SAVE NOW' button on blogger,
Mighty Boosh Series 1 DVD,
My scummy (maybe cummy, I have no ultra violet light) student house room carpet.

Crying pairs of pants?
Wot? Pants wot has holes in them? Leaks ahoy?

Daily Express headline subjects?

Something about the Nuremberg trials of the Nazi war criminals, I think that Daily Express readers think its disgraceful that Albert Speer didn't get the death penalty, and I think Daily Express readers should be angry that Hitler's architect got away from the Nuremberg trials with his life, sure he was one of the few officials to express remorse and was sentenced to 20 years' imprisonment but I think Albert Speer should be a headline on the Express.Something like this.

(learn more about Albert Speer on your friend Wikkipedia here)

I can't believe I'm attempting Nazi gags on my blog. I have no shame.

Vampire slayers?

There's one called Buffy on that show Buffy the vampire slayer, a show I imagine I'd rather love if I only got round to watching it (like probably alot of shows, Arrested Development comes to mind, I bet its awesome if I got round to viewing it, damm you fox for canceling it etc).

Root vegetables?

Chips.

Celebrities you could imagine dead, and the prefered method?

The 'celebrities' I want dead are the ones that should not judged to even be fecking celebrities.

Moments of temporary insanity?

I don't think today I was particularly insane today (for a change, if it had been any other day I might of been able to regale you all with the details), more frustrated and annoyed was today.

Things you looked at on this computer that you are using right now?

Albert Speer's page on Wikkipedia
Facebook, well someone new might want to be my friend!
I think I went on MySpace for whatever reason,
I checked my itunes playlist and made sure I listened to James Blunt's 1973 again.

Adverts what annoy me

This advert for Tresemme annoys me, in the video some beauty editor for Reveal (whatever that is) advertises the wonders of Tresemme, until, shock horror, that chap from that channel 4 hair salon show thing invades the advert shoot steeling the bottle of Tresemme from the beauty editor.But does the beauty editor for reveal looked bothered, annoyed or shocked that her advertisement shoot has been invaded? No, she just stares blankly looking mildly constipated. But then maybe thats the real horror of having your advert shoot being interrupted by someone who isn't even a Z list celebrity, they'll make you shit yourself (if only a little).

Twenty blogs for the price of one!

There's a partial slightly censored archive of me old blog on the interweb now, so as a special offer, get twenty blogs for the price of one (you are still paying me right?) here. I would lie and say it's for a limited time only, but it'll be up until I get taken to court.

Fact! I suck at scrabble

Although I'm pretty sure Vrrmvrrw (meaning for a car to go like really really fast) is a verb, if only I had an extra R.

Loathe woe.

I hate Student House Rental places, why? Well hatred of estate agents isn't rare is it now? So why am I ramming down my opinion adding nothing to the great age old debate on estate agents being cunts. Well I'll tell you why, It's the horrible way they try to make them cool, seeming to think they have to be funky and appealing for da studentz. They aren't student houses, they're apparently 'Student Pads' (maybe with a z, I can't quite recall if they are that insulting or not). The offices have to look cool for some reason, here's a photo of one just down the road to me.It's got a fucking large HDTV blasting out the tunes from The Hits TV Station. An amazingly large sofa, nice desks, but why the fuck? I don't particularly care if the hits music channel is playing (although I love the channel, love that new sugababes song where they all wear yellow. Phwoar, yellow). Do I love the Hits enough to pay an extra £20 a month rent? Not particularly (although once again, love that sugababes video).

TVs?!?!, sofas?!?!, Wankers of estate agents who insist on saying 'Mate' after every sentence because after your fun transaction you are apparently mates?!?!?!?! It all makes me want to vomit.

Shut up and Art!

Hello, with one sky customer magazine, and a student house living room to decorate I've created a couple of pieces you might enjoy (or not, art is subjective).This my friends is a collage tribute to Noel Edmonds of Noel Edmonds fame, featuring all the picture I could find in the current issue of the sky customer magazine. There's Noel as Santa, Noel in a bikini and of course his pink chum (not his penis) is there too. It's wonderful!And this is a photo of the popular singer Rihanna, where for the first time (EXCLUSIVE!) she tells her true feelings on Umbrellas.

Cut and Shunt MeMe

These MeMes usually have dull questions, but I'm going to take one of them and combine every 3 questions into one question. That'll make it more interesting, probably.

1. First thing you wash in your favourite coffee?

My white pants, I want to give the impression that I've shat myself after all.

2. Do you say "feeling RIGHT" in the last dream you remember having?

Only when I feel right in those dreams. But alot of dreams I feel uneasy, like the dream I had this morning when I went back to working at the Garden Centre, that didn't make me wanna say "Feeling RIGHT"

3. What comes to mind when I say craving a dance with me to the cabbage song?

The Cabbage song is quite erotic? Are you really sure you want me to be dancing to that? Seems inappropirate considering the cabbage massacres last week as well.

4. Do you use 1,000 ice cream smileys?

Using my finger to draw a smiley face in my ice cream seems unhygenic, why I would do one thousand of those I don't know. Seems wrong, and rude.

5. How many bedroom celebrity cottage cheeses are in your house?

Not many celebrities protest to be interested in the old cottage cheese bedroom pheonomina, but thats a mixed blessing so whilst you don't get many around, you get a higher grade of celebrities making bedroom cottage cheese, so sadly I only have two, the Jeremy Clarkson one, and the Richard Hammond one. But I refuse to get the James May one.

6. What was the last song your parents visited?

Something deeply erotic that left me traumatised.

7. Would George W. Bush go sky diving whilst throwing potatoes ?

If I know anything about George W. Bush, it's that his middle letter doesn't stand for wanker, that's just rude. But also he does grasp science sometimes, so he would refuse to throw potatoes out of plane, because they'd gain momentum and be really heavy when they did hit someone. Ouch town.

8. Is there sparkly Maths class on Saturady?

I think it's cancelled. They've run out of glitter.

9. What day is rap music falling in New York?

Like Hammer-time, but Hammer-day.

10. What was your best friend's cream puffs lunch?

Cream puffs are an inapropriate lunch I think, they should have something full of protein and I don't think cream puffs are. But it was cream puffs their lunch.

11. What is the effect of your butterfly's curly hair at school?

Jerks at school take pleasure in de-curling his hair. Jerks.

12. Have you ever brought a wall and cried?

Yes, because I realised I needed three more walls to complete my room, and I only had enough pennies saved up for one wall.

13. Hey person, Favourite time of the year for socks?

Every time.

14. Have you ever drank the next person you'll be holding hands with, whilst sleeping with the TV on? Will it mean anything?

Sleep drinking of someone's blood? A comatose drakula? I know what that'll mean, it means you're a sick evil bastard. Rot in hell.

15. Are you afraid of old good vision?

Yes, I'd look cool and all aged if my eye site when shit up the wall, but perfect vision when old? It wouldn't be natural.

16. Can you do your hula hoops gum job for 24 hours straight?

Not really, after a while it just become infuriating that I'm unable to create a hula hoops gum, working 24 hours straight on it would be inpratical.

17. What was the most recent window brands you brought?

Safestyle UK, you buy one, you get one free (might be a mention to an advert they only show down south).

18. How often are you in a complicated relationship with more than 3 people you hate?

All the time. You know me, unberable complicated relationship are the best, and because three is the magic number, it was even the more horrible.

19. Have you ever tripped and slapped a sarcastic someone?

Only myself.

20. Are you chap too forgiving of stick matters?

I am most certainly not a man who forgives someone if they broke my stick or made fun of my stick collection.

21. Do you own a hot phone gun?

No, I'm sure after the iphone they are the in thing to own, but I don't see point of combining a gun with a phone.

22. Are you closer to your hair or yourself?

Bit of both.

23. Do you chat like someone you know thats red?

I am red, so I chat like myself.

Cut and Shunt MeMe title copyright and trademark of Chezza.

Down in Brighton (not to be confused with New Brighton, Merseyside)

I saw an infruiating example of how New Labour (not the be confused with Labour) has furthered it's bloody nanny state.Of course people should keep off another man's groin, it's just good manners, I don't expect someone to walk on my groin, and I don't go walking across another man's groin. It's rude, and it would hurt. Squashing bollocks, not my idea of a laugh.

(Of course anyone with a basic costal errosion knowledge will point out that groynes are rigid hydraulic structure built to interrupt the flow of water and sediment and not a man's tackle).

Am I an evil brother?

My sister wanted me to buy her alcohol what with her being under the age of eighteen and her going to a gig and apparently requiring to alcobooze to enjoy the music. Fortuantly I brainwaved a bill for my services (Well it was more me cheekily pocketing the change, she did say she'd buy me a magazine to bribe me, and nerd magazine aren't cheap like heat).

1 X Walk to Shop = £1 (It is a ten minute walk there)
1 X Stimulating conversation = £1 (We talked about trees)
1 X Getting ID out for the lovely cashier = £1 (I loves the look people have when they look at ID trying to work out age, sometimes I think they just don't want to look stupid staring at it for ages)
1 X Tip = £1 (Remember the tip!)
_________________________________
Total Earnings = £4.

Not bad for half an hours work. I should feel bad for ripping off my sister.

Damm I forgot to charge her VAT!

Recently I've been...

...not really doing much to be fair. I experimented with a new chav look which I think I might not quite be able to pull off. But bless me, I do try my best.Yeah dudes.

I was so bored yesterday I went out to Tesco, can you believe they're making a mess of the Crawley Tescos to add all sorts of stuff like an upstairs! The baked beans just kept moving! Agony! People need their baked beans. And damm those evil Tesco bastards for moving the baked beans around the place. Misleading the baked bean buying peope of Crawley.

I've been continuing with my weekly confidence shattering driving lessons fun, who knows, maybe I'll be a driver soon, most of the time during my two hour fun duration period I reach a absolute confidence shattering cock up about an hour in and just want to quit. I'm not the most enjoyable person to teach to drive.

I'm thinking of reading to aleviate my bordem, this book looks fun.An amazon reader review says 'it should make an interesting conversation piece'. I can imagine sticking a copy out on my coffee and scaring visitors.

To conclude Flight of the Conchords (like a New Zealand Mighty Boosh) continue to amuse me too much, particularly this song of theirs, maybe you'll like it.

I just be dreaming

I hate playing sport comptetivley, hated P.E., I hated that I'd be chucked in goal for football because no one else would want to be in goal, and then I'd get complaints when I didn't save the ball, I just ended up thinking 'fuck you' (although I did save the odd goal) and tell them it was their fault. With this context, my dream the other night just seems even odder.

I dreamt I was the latest signing for Southampton Football Club, and was their new goalie. And guess what, I was amazing, doing some great saves. So amazing I had celebrity fans, well a celebrity fan, that celebrity being Hip Hop sensation Missy Elliot. She thought I was a great goalie!

Now I'm not one for interpriting dreams, but quite clearly I'm seeking praise from leading Hip Hop artists. Maybe the town of Southampton is my calling? Is Southampton where Missy Elliot is going to kick off her world tour? Do I infact want to play in goal? I'm bamboozled, but fortunatly I know I've got intelligent blog readers out there who will be able to tell me what my dream means, help me, you're my only hope.

Owning a camera phone has changed my life

And I the prolonger blogger (that'll be the name of my third incarnation of a blog) want to share with you how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and Id like to take a minute just sit right there, Ill show you why owning camera phone has changed my life and how by possesing such technology I've been able to paint words via pixels via photography. Fox Talbot would be proud (He invented photography, love him.. LOVE HIM). So relax and enjoy the photography.A photo of a lake at Wakehurst Place Gardens, I wanted to take a photo of the Gardens, of some nice looking house building mansion summat which had morris dancing (with ladies... cool) infront of it, some flowers, path way, the cafe shop, but because of the tempremental nautre of photography (damm you Fox Talbot!) and the fact my new phone seems to have a personality of its own and saying to me, no, you shit, you shall not take a photo of these pretty things, instead, the camera only let me take a photo of some water. But what beautiful water.

In a way, it might of been for the best, because this photo captures the idea that this lovely garden is surrounded and locked in by residental areas, much like the water is locked into the photo. Its confined, and sadly you can confine nature, which is sad, expressed fully by the morbid lighting the camera brought. Also is it me or is there a large cat reflected in the pond?Here is the fastway bus in Crawley, a bus that is infact, so fast I failed to caputre all of it in the photograph. But look at the bored looking passengers in the bus? Planes are fast, passengers get entertained on there, but on a bus, no such luck, which is a shame, infact where air crew are expected to be lovely and friendly, bus drivers get away with being miserable shits, which sadly is a crying shame. So whilst this fastway might be fast, the passengers are sat their unamused, give them a film to watch for fucks sake! Or sell them some low price fags or kylie perfume or something tacky.This photo shows that Burger King, with its reputation being slightly better than McDonalds, makes this student 'I'd eat garbage' scum feel slightly better than some scummy members of the population. I have my eyes closed as I don't want to look down on my subjects, though loyal they are.This is my pleasure toy, and boy, does it pleasure me. Enough said.

I could instead of spouting bollocks on my Fox Talbot photography beauties just make a story with the four photos such as something like this;

A large cat was angry with me as I pissed into the lake, so I fleed on the fastway bus, hoping this would speed me away from the large cat. To Burger King was my plan, and I collected the urine of a worker there to plant at the scene (in a burger king cup), so I could blame someone at Burger King. The large cat believed my story and brought me a Dalek as way of apologies for accusing me of urinating in a pond.

Readers are welcome to think up a better story.

It's the 95th blog post spectacular!

And to celebrate I'm just gonna do this pesky MeMe what Dan and Chezza has done.

1. Where is the last place you held hands?
Held hands? Does this include myself? I hope so, I love holding my hands, because they always grip back. If that does include what I has just said then I would say in Crawley.

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Well friends have said I should go to Iraq and I'd be shot because they'd think I was Prince Harry. They'd want me there as a Harry Ginger Decoy or summat. So probably would not survive if there telling the truth, I think one of the people who said that is Navy bound in his future life beyond the university, so he should know.

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I dare say I've fallen asleep once or twice when the TV has been on, I even dare say I fell asleep during an episode of Heroes I was watching. Sorry, I do loves the show. Really.

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
No, though I have pissed straight into the carton, I don't mind revealing that.

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Spelling? But I still don't know how to spell through or threw. Gah!

6. What is your longest fight with one of your friends?
A few days? I mostly cower out in situations where I might have a fight. Are we talking proper fighting though? Bitch fighting? Slapping? Fisty Cuffs? I'm confused.

7. Are you a fast typer?
Pretty fast, wanna watch me do one in a video blog. Just kidding, I'm not doing a video blog anytime soon. They're shit, well mine are.

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Not anymore. Though I was upto 12 when everyone else wanted the lights out in a hostel in Germany, but I didn't. That caused a falling out for a day. Crazy days. That forced me to toughen up. Yeah. I started fights shortly after not being afraid of the dark anymore. Yeah, fights.

9. Do you like someone right now?
I like people, I don't like some people. Swings and Roundabouts. Now I love them.

10. What ended your last relationship?
Failing to start it.

12. Do you knock on wood?
I don't tap my erections, that just hurts.

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
No, apart from my sweat. Lovely sweat.

14. Do you think you’re smart?
I think I'm smarter than I give myself credit for, but too lazy to be any smarter. And too lazy to justify any intelligence around people who are smarter than me.

15. Have you ever eaten a bug?
Can't say that I have, I'm yet to go on I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here when my daytime quiz show falls flat on its arse and I'm out of work. My quiz show would be called Quiz Factor.

16. Do you miss someone right now?
I miss you mate, you're a ruddy good mate. I guess I'm missing all the lovely people I know in Reading, but I shall see them when Term resumes! Whoop! I say resume, I mean starts.

17. What do you want for christmas?
Oh the usual, lots of DVDs.

18. Do you know the muffin man?
Know him? I suck off the muffin man.

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
Not as far as I know.

20. Do you remember your 1st crush?
Yes, and I didn't do anything about it like I don't do anything about crushes now, some things never change.

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
Oh Yeah, once let go of a kite on Worthing beach. Upsetting times. Fortunatly I man caught it. Never did get round to knighting that saint. Do you knight a saint?

22. When was the last time that you went swimming and where?
Fuck knows. I can't swim after three years of lessons. I'm lazy and incompotent.

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
No. I haven't even finished my degree yet or doing anything to suceed with, other than gaining those GCSEs and A Levels.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
Fifty, I have fifty numbers on my phone, I only know that number because I had to copy over fifty numbers when I got my new phone. Might be fifty-one now.

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
No. What would I do with a horse? Mount it?

26. Plans for 2MORROW?
Laze around Mofo.

27. What did you do this past weekend?
Watched Run, Fat Boy, Run at the cinema, which is quite good if a bit cliched (Simon Pegg and Dylan Moran make the film) and walked around Wakehurst place which was alright.

28. Miss being at school right now?
Not really, I have university.

29. When’s the last time you told someone you loved them?
The cat today.

30. Do you want to be single?
It's alright, although a partnership would be nice.

32. Who’s your hero?
Steve Coogan.

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No, but I remembered today that for one or two days I was banned from the library at school, sadly I can't remember why. Might of been eating in the library, I really can't remember.

34. What are you looking forward to?
To my next driving lesson so when I'm asked my parents how it went I can 'grunt' a reply. Ugh.

35. If you could be stranded with one person for 24 hours, who would it be?
Someone lovely. And weird.

37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Can't say I have, tried cat biscuit though when a friend liked them (back when he was seven or sumamt), I tried them too, they tasted of metal, he must of been mental that friend.

38. Can you handle the truth?
NO. CUSHION ME WITH LIES.

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
What? Green eggs? Green ham? What is wrong with this planet of ours!

40. What 3 things do you always bring with you to places?
Wallet, keys and phone.

41. Any cool scars?
I've got two dents in my head, one from a radiator, one from a tennis racket.

42. Are you missing in action?
Yes. Find me, please!

44. What’s your deepest secret?
That I want a polo mint.

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
Very little. Phone calls scare me, though I had a call with Reading Borough Council today, good five minutes of hardcore classical music.

46. Do you believe in love?
I suppose, can I have some please?

47. Is there something you want that you can’t have?
Probably, but I'm far, far, far too lazy to have that thing.

48. Four things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
Tits and Arse? Multiplied by two. Will that do as an answer?

49. When was your last time you cried?
When Anakin murdered those Younglings. Cunt.

50. Who did you last hug?
Someone who probably desereved it. Scum.

51. Do you get along with your family?
Yes I do, lovely people.

52. Where is your phone?
On my desk. Wanna call it? I hate phone calls, piss me off, dares ya.

53. What was the last thing you ate?
Curry.

54. Favorite color?
Blue.

55. Last movie you saw?
I just watched Star Wars: Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith. It's a good film, really. Sure flawed, quite flawed, but discussion of flawed films is fun.

56. What song are you listening to?
Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty, it came up randomly on me media player, it's a banging tune.

I'm proof reading at the moment and listening to Bob the Builders hit Can we fix it. It came up randomly.

57. What do you want?
Something to do.

58. Favorite car?
Vauxhall Labrador.

59. What T.V. show are you watchin?
Well today I watched Flight of the Conchords, so deliciously underplayed, I love it. And I've been watching Heroes and Battlestar Galactica.

60. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
The lady at Reading Borough Council, I think I love her. Admitedly our conversation was mostly full of silence and her getting up details, but there was a connection, she had a voice, I had a voice, we both had voices.

Cuntry Walk time!

WARNING: If you don't like looking at photographs, might I recommend you skip this blog.Today in the means of being productive I decided to go on a country walk (or cuntry walk if we want to be crude), down a stretch of public bridleway that I hold most dear to me, over four years of intense schooling in which I gained my qualifications (like GCSE German) this bridleway would be become very dear to my heart, there were good times (the sun), there were bad times (the rain), there were confusing time (the hail), but I came to know this public bridleway as my second brother (after the cat). Join me with your hearts open to embrace the beauty of the Worth Way public bridleway in the beautiful West Side Sussex. Here is the duck pond full of crap. This one time back when I were lad before I gained me qualifications (like GCSE German) I fell in there, well I say one time, it might have been more than once. Needless to say from looking at the contents of the pond I must have smelt fucking horrible after my dips in there. But back in those days the kids would praise you for smelling like toxic waste. It was like a beauty scar some might say.How some kid gets world wide media coverage for going missing and this Harris Hawk going missing get's no publicity I'll never know. I would love to inform you I found the Harris hawk on my travels, but alas sadly not, I don't really know much of Harris Hawks work unlike his brother Chesney, I know all about his work (and I mean work, that one hit wonder scum boat).Here are some railway sleepers, well I assume they are, to be honest I wouldn't really know what railway sleepers looked like if I got struck in the face by one (but if they are what I am assuming they look like in the photo, than face sleeper combination probably equals quite a bang. Ouch. They'd fucking knock out my eyes). There used to be a railway line down here didn't you know? Until the evil Dr. Beeching closed it down. And thats why the residants of Sussex curse Dr. Beeching, and you just know that all the evil kids out there in Sussex have been named Beeching in line with popular conception that Dr. Beeching was sent here by the devil. Oh shit, how did that get in there, no one is supposed to know of my horse shit fascination. But now its out in the open, I guess I must explain the hardships I had when I were a lad just doing your qualifications (like GCSE German) and the kids would think you were uncool if you didn't cycle in the horse shit. Like the toxic waste daring, kids became more hardcore the older they got.Here is a bridge, I would tell you the story of when the Bridge collapsed and us teenagers rebuilt it only on enthusiasm and a desire to help the local community, but I remember that story isn't believable in the slightest, and I can't think of a decent punchline. So let's just all salute the Bridge. All hail the bridge.

And this is where our cuntry walk time must end, I hope you've enjoyed the walk, felt you were there and want to embrace this public bridleway, but not too much, there's horse shit on there, quite a bit actually, really smelly stuff. Goodbye and thank you.

Sign Time is back!

Gary reminded me of a lovely blog event I used to do on my old blog (back when I wasn't a Ginger Bastard) in which I motivated myself to revise with signs. It became a phenomenon (well one person remembered it). So here it is a new sign time for a new age, back with vengence.

That Naff MeMe because I have Naff all imagination

Something Chezza did on her blog of lusting, a Life survey, and seeing as I'm not sure if I have a life or not, I hope, no pray, that is survey will inform me. Do your thang!


LIFE SURVEY
LAST:
1. Friend you saw: I met up with some old school friends at t'pub, people I hadn't seen for over two years. Delightful comapny.
2. Talked to on the phone: Dunno, someone who wanted to talk to my sister, might have been her boyfriend, I just don't know.
3. Texted: I texted my boss to ask if there was any work going on Friday, still fuck all response, bit pissed off really about that, I need something to do in September!
4. IMed: The Chezza lady.

TODAY:
1. Wearing: Jeans, pants, a T Shirt and as of 2:45 PM (ish) socks.
2. Better than yesterday? Not really. Bit dull really, been lazing around. Yesterday I did some proper hardcore shopping, I spent £70. Ouch.

TOMORROW
1. Is: Monday
2. Got plans: Yes, I'm going to the cinema to see Knocked Up which apparently is this like well amazing comedy. I trust the reviews, even if the teaser trailer didn't inspire me that much.
3. Dislikes: about tomorrow? I don't think there will be much to dislike. Unless I spend another £70 in Crawley again, which I doubt I will.

FAVORITE:
1. Number: 1138
2. Colour: The colour of my poos? Purple incase you're wondering
3. Season: Well in most cases season one of a TV show is probably the best, but not always, lets go with law of averages and go with first. Or Second.

CURRENTLY:
1. Missing someone: Trying to think of something witty to say instead, but after stroking my stubble for a few minutes I've failed.
2. Mood: Failure, I couldn't think of anything to pass for witty to answer the preeceding question.
3. Wanting to: Try and answer these questions with some wit instead of Yep, Nope, Fuck you. No I will not rub till ejaculation, you people ask far too much from me.

QUESTIONS / ANSWERS:
Q: First thing you did this morning?
Woke up and went back to sleep?

Q: Last thing you ate and drank?
Sunday Roast with coca-cola.

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
I need something to do with my September.

Q: What's annoying you right now?
That I'll have nothing to do with my September.

Q: Do you support long distance relationships?
If it gives me something to do with my September, then why not?

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
The person that'll amuse me this September?

Q: Do you think that that person is thinking of you too?
I don't know, wake me up when September ends.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
Not left the house today sadly. Oh well. Never mind.

Q: Do you look like your mum or dad?
I think I look a bit like my Dad, but I'm not posting a photo collage because I can't think of a witty excuse to say I'm not posting photos of other peeps on my blog.

Q: Do you smile often?
Yeah. Look at me now, I'm smiling Jez.

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity)?
Creativity

Q: Are you a friendly person?
I am at times, and some other times I just don't try and prefer to come across as an awkward dick.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
Blue.

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
Playing with my new phone. It has a camera in it, what will they think of next. Maybe a means for me to write down in the form of text to message a well meaning benefactor what I might communicate in a phone call, but instead send it to them in text form. Yeah, that.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?
about half an hour ago at tea.

Q: What song are you listening to right now?
I was listening to some Orange Anubis music, he's like well good.

Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10:
5. Would be better if I had something to do with my september.

SAD SECTION:
Where there was questions on Crying, so instead I'm just gonna insert this picture.

HAPPY SECTION:
Where there was questions on happiness so instead I'm gonna insert this picture

LOVE SECTION:
Where there were questions on love so I'm going to insert this picture.

RELATIONSHIP SECTION:
Where there was questions on relationships so I'm just going to insert this picture.

HATE SECTION:
Where there was questions on hate so I'm just going to insert his picture.

I once watched an episode of This Morning where Fergie cooked a curry, Zippy was no where to be seen.

If you want to see the MeMe in its complete form, look at Chezza answers to it, I may have slightly man handled it.

New Novella time

I'm taking a break from writing my hit novella ginger pubes to concentrate on my new Novella entitled 'Graham Cook rewalks Britain'. Here's the first chapter.

Chapter One. Insanity.

Since getting a car Graham Cook just didn't walk anymore, which was a shame as during his time as a walker, he walked through some terrific locales, walking pass some terrific flea riden piss soaked people on the streets. But the posession (not ownership, he possesed the motormobile) of a car had stopped the walking, driving to the postbox down the road deprived him the joy of making trainer contact with cobbles (Or stilettos when on weekends). Cobble deprivation you may call it. A desease yet to be full recognised by the labour government. Going slightly insane, with his legs very much taking control of his brain, Graham Cook torched his car, well let someone else do it, well wanted to let someone else do it. This was going to tbe easier said than done. Graham left his car abondoned on the motorway hoping that would encourage someone to torch it. No such luck. He tried painting on the car 'Torch me' but he ended up just getting DVD copies of Torchwood left on the car left by overly critical Doctor Who fans who just didn't quite appreciate watching wanking and aliens in the same show. To hell with it thought Graham, and having listened to the Prodigy's hit ballad Firestarter, he was pent up with enough enthusiasm and loaded with tips on how to be a fire starter that he could do the job himself and start a fire. And also he could burn the Torchwood DVDs whilst he was at it, bit too welsh for this in the closet welsh man's tastes. With the DVDs burnt and also the car, as well as putting a message to Russel T Davis and increasing his carbon footprint, his legs could now get their full useage, he could walk to places. And what better places to walk than places you used to walk before you had a car. Watch out pedistrians and foul members of the public who hurl abuse at walkers by, Graham Cook would be rewalking back past you. Graham Cook would be rewalking Britain.

Random bullet pointed list on me Portugal Hol

Hello there, I can't really remember specific days about my Portugal family holiday (and you wouldn't want an uber detailed drilling down of all my days spent there), it was in the Algarve which I'm informed is a part of Portugal, in a city called Lagos, so here's some bullet points of points of maybe interestment of me holiday. Enjoy!

• This amused me on Lagos' famed 'potato' beach it's a random start to my tale of bullets, so I'll go for it!Now the bird has spoken, do what it says, seperate your trash accordingly for it is cool. And who am I to doubt the good word of a cartoon bird. He's so cute.
  
  
  
• Whilst in Portugal I did a thing called Drinking. It basically consists of passing alcohol through your body until you do something stupid. I went to a charming little pub called Shytes (well it was called Whytes, but for wit purposes let's call it Shytes, because it was shite). I lost the will to make conversation when some how was in the company of a couple of sixteen year olds who said stuff like "oh my god I've only met 4 people here who don't smoke" and "I love Kiss 100" so inthralled was I that I couldn't even be bothered to camp up some horrified and look insulted when they commented my younger sister looked older than me. Shytes, here's me outside there;



• We went on a boat tour and saw lots and lots of rocks, and I took lots and lots of photos of rocks, so lets continue a theme here and post a photo of an interesting rocks. Can you tell what it looks like?It's supposed to look like an elephant.



• Did I mention I got frustratingly sneezy whilst on holiday? When the cat went away on his holiday (at the blinging Cattery) me and him got a bit too intimate in our goodbyes, I was sneezing like mad during the England match on the telly, sneezing like mad at Gatwick Aiport and on the plane, lack of fresh hair, damm you air conditioning. But would it be fecking alright once in Portugal? Fuck no, there was a 2 hour long coach journey which became a four hour long one when the coach broke down, by then my eyes were fecking streaming so much that the fecking sun pearced the retinas to make them leek some more, which links me to point five;



• I became lumped with a football team to support. Now like everyone I loves soccerball, my favourite team being the Manchester Arsenals, but what with my eyes streaming I need a cap to keep that fecker out the eyes, I couldn't give a shit what the hat looked like, my sister gave some shit and steered me away from a touristy Algarve hat to a hat which said Sporting Portugal, which I assumed meant just sporting in Portugal, but after a week there I came to full realisation my sister had caused me to become lumped with a football team! Eeeek. Some guys in the catherdral ticket office started wittering at me in rather articulate english about how Sporting Portugal were crap, to which I did a sheepish grin, I wasn't going to fake offence! I couldn't give a rodger about them being a team. Then someone pleeding for tourists told me my team were a great team to which I did a thumbs up, so I guess I am a Sporting Portugal football supporter, dear god.Gramtically Sporting Portugal sound piss poor, but thats for me to think, and for you not to think, don't go slagging off my team.



• What else to say? I was horrified to see McDonalds had infected the potato beach by putting on a dance stage to get young kids to dance along with an adult. Quite horrified when I heard they were dancing to Nivana. Basically I don't like to jump to conclusions but McDonalds want kids to grow up like that guy who killed himself. Bastards.



• And to conclude, I didn't really get a tan and mostly hid in the comfort of the shade. Another happy ending for all.