I was a lame eight year old
At the age of eight, I wrote a letter to a hero of mine, typed out nicely on a BBC computer, asking this hero of mine what his favourite drink was and also asking for a signed photo. I got a reply which I was overjoyed about.
Lemon? Too right I need my dissapointment fucking alleviated. Favourite drink lemon? Lemon what? Lemonade? Lemon squash? Lemon Juice? Some alcoholic lemon variety of lemon like lemon snakebite or summat? Lemon? Does John Major get all his liquid nourishment from just sucking lemons? Is Edwina Curry's petname lemon? I just don't understand.
If you're wanting to see the photograph enclosed with a facsimilie of his autograph (why couldn't they say copy? I was eight, I don't understand words like facsimilie, I only vaguely knew about similies at that age! I still only vaguely know about similies, damm you GCSE English!) then wait no longer, here it is being used as a rather poor cat scary picture.
This isn't an april fools, although I did consider doing a blog april fools.
11 comments:
It's got to be a flask of weak lemon squash! I'd say the look on that cat's face is 'withering' rather than 'scared.' Cool moggy!
Bitter lemon.
Old ladies in soaps always drink that.
There are tears in my eyes and I'm wheezing with laughter. Not merely because the reply letter misses the capital letter from Mr Major's name.
Maybe the concise nature of the answer is because Mr Major is too busy boffing ladies and eating peas/ just too important to make long winded requests. He's all "toilet" "lemon" "scratch" when he needs bodily satisfaction. Why put it into a sentence? Sentences are for losers.
The word veri is "rofnmot" which sounds filthy. Hurray.
Why is someone trying to steal Major's sexy glasses in that photo?
Bert - Weak lemon you say? It could be, I can imagine Mr Major liking his life weak, as well as his drinks. He is a cool cat, he hides his fear well when a photo is shoved in his face.
Jessie - So Mr major is a bitter old lady in a soap? I can buy that, he does have an odd look deerdree from corrie.
Jemima - Oh yes, I noticed the poor mistake there, not sure if it's worth weezing over, but who am I scoff at a woman laughing at a gramatical mistake.
I bet Mr major has had many rofnrnot in his times. Maybe Mr major was asked mid-bonk about what his favourite drink was and could only say lemon? Who am I to speculate.
Dan - You answered your own question, because they're sexy!
you are too cool for school sometimes, you know that!
These days i would want to know the nitty griutty of his affair with nick ;)
You're strange - I like that.
Cheryl - Oh purlease, the wild child is far cooler for schooler at times than me. You must write to Tony Blairs and ask his opinion on Mr.Robinson, maybe I'll share with my bloggers my letter from Tony Blair sometime soon.
Ant - I like that you appreicate my strangeness.
You know, sometimes I forget how much of a looker that John Major was.
Well New Planet, I'm more than happy to refresh your memories of dishy politicans from the past... probably.
John Major - a hero?! Lemon? I'm confused.
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