Gah!
Whilst walking across the park today on a lovely sunny sumer day on my way to post a lovely reply to a survey delivered to our house by the conservative party (in which I mainly just said tories were wankers and that my name was Wayne Carr, because I'm a coward, and have some hatred of tories I can't quite articulate and I do stuff for my own amusement) I passed a group of 3 young men (I'm so old) playing football. The footieball travelled off the pitch (mainly due to one young man kicking the ball too hard, how reckless) and travelled near the footpath I was walking along. The ball was travelling quite slowly and not that near to me so I thought that I wouldn't be expected to kick the ball back to them. The ball eventually landed about half way between the net and the footpath I walking too. The chap was gently walking to get the ball, please see the diagram below for a visual representation of this situation.
But the guy shouted "GINGER*" at me expecting me to kick it to him, but it's was half way between both of us, if it was nearer to me than him then I might of, I was going by my own football kicking back equation I've some how picked up subconsciously multiplied by my lazyness. But no, he kept shouting "GINGER" as I kept walking down the path, eventually shouting out "GINGERNUTS". There needs to be government guidlines as to, inwhich situation and aproximate distances, one might be to kick the football that has gone off pitch back to the players. It would have spared be being called GINGERNUT.
Sort it out Tony Blair or Gordon Brown (but not David Cameron, but maybe Ming the Meaningless).
* The expected term for a stranger of similar gender is Mate, and not ginger, whilst it's a point of pride, it isn't a name.
12 comments:
Hey that is like so a hate crime or summink innit probably but no.
I know this pain of getting your identity only by your hair. My boyfriend gets referred to as "the dread" by people who don't know his name, and the DJ at karaoke regularly announces me as "Half-a-haircut Bert". End this pigeonholing now!!
Chezza - thanks for your fact sharing mate.
Dan - Hate crime you say? Well I trust your knowledge, you read the Daily Mail, so you're knowledgable about such matters.
Bert - I am now wanting to call you "Half-a-haircut Bert", does that make me a bad person? Piegonholding, yes, that's a word I should have used, it wrong innit?
Like Karl Pilkinton said, the doctors didn't say "is Joseph Merrick" - they just referred to him as "Elephant Man" - it simply saves time. Now if we’re not gonna call him by his real name, what chance do you think you have? :O)
Oh Ant you've got alot of nerve quoting Karl fucking Pilkington on my blog, but seeing as the quote is appropirate and you're lovely I'll forgive you ;)
You may have a point.
You sir, is a funny!
The deputy head at my school once made fun of me for turning up at work with purple hair. But he is a bald. It's just jealousy. And laziness.
Orange IS a nice colour.
Half A Haircut Bert does indeed have half a haircut. You, Mister CLive, are indeed of the orange persuasion. Let's not focus on our differences but instead look at what we have in common...
Clive: I don't BUY The Daily Mail!
Ant: Don't quote that man here. Heads will roll!
Jemima - is a funny? Oh ummm... delightful. He could paint his bald head purple, then he wouldn't be jealous. Orange is a pretty colour indeed.
Dan - He does indeed, I was so in awe by half the haircut that I didn't say anything. Actually it was cool. Orange is a nice pretty reassuringly calming colour that should be loved by all.
Dan - Oi, replying to comments on my blog, that's my job ;)
I never said buy, I said read, you certainly read parts of it going by your blog.
You are indeed right about the head will roll.
Oh dear - I didn't mean to upset everyone. I thought that quote was quite funny. I shall never mention him again.
I did enjoy the quote Ant.
Even if I don't like the 'record breaking' podcasts.
Plus Dan encourages me to snobish about comedy, I blame him.
I've never listened to the pod cast. It's worse than that - the quote is from an interview with him on the Ricky Gervais Politics DVD. I'm really in trouble now. :O)
Actually Ant, I'd rank that as slightly better, at least you've not fallen into the trap of the podcasts, just as long as you don't tell me you own a copy of the sodding Karl Pilkington book.
Our blog friendship can continue you'll be pleased to know ;)
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