...as to what colour undergarments I wear, look at the following photo of me on a recent night out and the answer will be revealed.
I must point out that I don't wear red undergarments all the time, just sometimes.
That is all, I'm off to bed.
Case in point, my friend's birthday present nicely wrapped (and customised) by yourstruely.
1. Do you like cheese?
I absolutley lovely cheesey music, thanks for asking.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
No, at an early age a close friend to me said to me once "the drugs don't work, they just make your worse, and I know I'll see your face again" I never did see his face again, but then again he never even saw my face.
3. Do you own a gun?
I'd like to after seeing Hot Fuzz.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Doctors, Haircut, Dentist appointments. They all terrify the shit out of me. That'll explain why I didn't go the dentist for 18 months and then need two fillings why I haven't been for a haircut for nearly a year. Last time I needed a doctor's appointment was when I needed my ears syringed, that was fun. I'm a waxy boy. I am a candle, or a mandlecandle.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
People should at least leave the window slightly open so they aren't so hot, they'll just de-hydrate otherwise. That's mean.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Madworld.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Drinking juice in the morning is over rated. Give me a nice bit of squash.
9. Can you do push ups?
Physical activity? Stuff like P.E. Lessons at school I hated that filled me with a loathing for P.E. teachers? FUCK OFF.
10. Is your bathroom clean?
Probably not, and I've only got myself to blame for not helping clean around the student house more.
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My engagement ring from my late fiance who perished in an acid factory when we visited to plan our wedding.
I mean jewelry? Do you think I'm some kind of woofta or summat?
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My modestly sized penis. So modestly sized the opposite sex judge it as miniscule.
14. Do you have friends?
I might do. They'd have to answer that. Facebook tells me I have 44 friends which I think is lovely.
15. Do you miss someone?
A close friend told me once "you don't know what you've got till it's gone, they pathed paradise, to put up a parking lot" so at the moment I miss a parking lot.
16. Middle Name?
Yes... I call myself by it in some circles, such as online!
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I'm enjoying listening to the Hot Fuzz soundtrack, I should shave after I've listened to the Hot Fuzz soundtrack, and I should go into town after I've listened to the Hot Fuzz soundtrack and had a shave.
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
Orange Squash, Coke and Snakebite.
20. Current worry?:
That I'm spending too much money, but then I do want to blow my ill earnt money from that place what where I worked.
21. Current hate?
A close freind said to me once "Hate something, change something, make something better" I think he was a car.
22. Favorite place to be?
In my chair, at my desk on the interweb.
23. How did you bring in the New Year?
Playing monopoly... I won!
24. Where would you like to go?
To see Hot Fuzz again
27. Do you own slippers?
Nah.
28. What shirt are you wearing?
A green t-shirt, it has summat on it, not sure what, but I think green is my colour, if I do say so myself and imply I know something about fashion and dressing myself.
29. Do you burn or tan?
BURN. I'm pasty! I'm ginger so pasty!
30. Favorite color?
I never know how to answer these questions. Some lovely shade of off red on the pantone colour chart maybe.
31. Would you be a pirate?
I am a pirate, I illegally download music, although I did get the Hot Fuzz soundtrack on CD this morning, when did CD's change and have nice round corners? It's news to me.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Various, the one I've been caught singing is Chasing cars, which my housemate heard me sing whilst having a shit, quite off putting.
35. What's in your pocket right now?
A hankerchief.
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Hot Fuzz quotes on the Hot Fuzz soundtrack which I'm currently listening to listener fans.
A random guy in a whitevan on my way to campus asked me "Do you like speakers?" as if people hate speakers. I hate speakers, how dare they assist me in listening to the Hot Fuzz soundtrack or watching Hot Fuzz.
He was most probably trying to flog speakers out of the back of his van.
37. Best bed sheets as a child?
I was never allowed cool bed sheets as a child, it was a quilt my mum made and some plain sheets.
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
I dunno. Never had that major injuryies. Few times falling off my bike hurt my knees up a bit.
39. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Liars. You can be selective with the truth, hell I am at times, but don't fucking lie!
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Seven. Use this information well.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
The one who deafened my ear that one time.
42. Who is your most silent friend?
The one I deafened their ear one time so has stopped talking to me in the hope I won't shout at them again.
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Why not?
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
A close friend once told me "goodbye from shooting stars, goodbye whoever you are" I think it was a dove from above.
45. What is your favorite book?
My autobiography obviously, which will be in the shops sometime soon.
46. What is your favorite candy?
Was winegums, but I've stopped eating them due to the fillings.
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
Natasha Bedingfield's these words.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Natasha Bedingfield's these words.
49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Playing monopoly, I lost.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Oh the post, that sounded like a package dropped through our door, I wonder if one is the Hot Fuzz soundtrack.
Hello there, whilst walking to campus today through the lovely park (or quite dodgy park where apparently dogging goes on after dark) between campus and student house I got pounced on by some students asking me a survey. Well I though they were my brothers in the quest to do something with your life between the ages of 18 and 21, I best welcome them to inflict their survey on me. So I permitted them to inject me with their survey. Only for me to be complete and utter no use to them. "Do you use the sport facilities in Palmer Park?" "No" "What sport facilites do you think Palmer Park could benefit from? Swimming pool, skatepark?" "I don't know" I don't do sport, I'm sure sport is great for those who love to be competitive, those who are arrogant in their own abilities, those who get a smug sense of satisfaction at being better at something than someone else, but thanks to P.E. lessons at school, and parents with no interest in sport I have entered this world into adulthood with no desire to do sport. But wait there fans, I didn't want to let my student brothers down in their survey, I thought I'd contribute something I remember contributing to a survey I got asked another time in Reading.
When walking down the canal to that place I once worked a police officer asked me a survey as to what were my concerns about the local area in Reading. Could I think of anything, not really and ended up being prompted "the vandalism...?" "Yes the vandalism" And so for this delightful student inflicted survey I shared with them my view "The vandalism" well a statue of George Palmer in the park had been recently vandalised, of course they'd love to hear my concerns there for a fucking sport survey. The clipboard closed as soon as I chipped in with my concerns on vandalism and a polite thank you was exchanged. So in future people, if you want to survey me, feel free for my major contribution to any surveys to be about vandalism, when in reality, whilst I think it's an eyesoar, I don't have any energy in me to despense this conceren to any of you in a non-survey environment.
It's probably just as well today I looked at a student house for next year on the other side of the park, so I can't be a hazard to the people of Reading and give rubbash answers to surveys!
The irony of this post is that at the moment I should be writing my report on the results of me excurciatingly exciting typographical survey as to which index page my poor survey subjects prefer, page numbers on the left or the right.
"Which Index do you prefer?"
"The vandalism"
So in short, Vandalism concerns me. Probably. I might purchase this CD which for only £139.00 (Excluding: VAT at 17.5%) feature 125 photos of Reading including some photos of the vandalism in Reading. I'll set it as my wallpaper.
Oh it concerns me.
Everyone loves History, and everyone loves music. But some people love these two subjects too much that they load their music videos with a strong world history subtext to educte as well as entertain. Girl Aloud and Sugababes are no different from anyone of us, they love History! In their music video for Walk this way (which is for charity, charity fans!) they just couldn't resist teaching us about the Berlin Wall.
Look at the strong politcal imagery in the video, Girls Aloud are West Germany and the sugababes are East Germany. To hell with David Hasslehoff, it was these two girlbands which reunited the Germany which was torn apart through the cold war. Or at least that's what the strong politcal anology is showing.
Heidi, obviously over joyed at the though of being reunited with the west is unable to contain her delight at being reuinted with her school yard chum who jumped over the wall in 1961. Look she's got her best earrings on for the event.
Look Heidi picks up a vase to try and break the wall. A strong red chosen to symbolise the sugababes are communist! They're only playing communists mind, Sugababes are very much liberal democrats in real life!
And look, it smashes, obviously showing to anyone (so even morons will understand) that communism collapses or smashes just like a vase being thrown against a wall. Beautiful.
Look the ignorant west is completly shocked by the communist East's collapse. They thought they were having a whale of a time waiting 6 months to get one of those new fangled televisions. It was now that West took note that East wanted to meet West.
So in sheer anger West knocks down the wall (it's pop music, it's providing a very skewed slant on history, they did it at the same time in reality history fans!) but look at the symbolism. It's all about the symbolism, the microphone symbloises the effect of the media on the collapse of the wall. Of course.
And here is the impact, almost homaging when French met the British when the channel tunnel was finished (see Snow Patrol's Eye's Open for a historical pop music take on that event in history).
Look, east is looking completly shocked at the high levels of prosperity in the west. Don't look too horrified ladies, this is a happy ocassion!
And to further illustrate the difference in a way the English can understand they have a rap competition being rapped with English accents, with northen accents for West Germany and East Germany rapped with Southern accents. The differences are really apparent now ladies, thank you!
Look at Cheryl Tweedy Don't mention that incident in a toilet in Guildford Cole's painted on smile. Says it all, whilst they were happy to be re-unified, the West were also a little unhappy with the future finanical cost awaiting them to bring the east back to the prosperity the west enjoyed.
And who should take time out from their busy schedules to celebrate the collapse of the wall? Well obviously that large chap from the office who is like so funny when he eats that scotch egg and that woman from that painfully unfunny sketch show which has 'hilarious' comic observations on life that chavs enjoy! This is obviously symbloising the world watching Germany.
If you'd like to learn more about the Berlin Wall Girls Aloud and the Sugababe's Walk this way will be available in the shops soon, or go to a library.
Ever since that incident that left my blog deleted and replaced with adverts for quote 'brighton clubbing gay' (Yes really, look here at my old tomb) I've not really had the same drive in the world of blogging. I used to get excited when pretty people with blogs had done MeMes I could doctor for my own blogging means. I want that thrill back so I'm going to do that smash hits related MeMe that all the pretty bloggers seem to have done already. But if you can't beat them to a bloody pulp, join in with them as they beat someone else up to a bloody pulp. I think that's how the old saying goes.
1) Does your mother play golf?
No she quilts. I'd like to think I'm deliverying a witty punchline, but it's not the case.
2) Have you ever been sick into your cowboy boots?
I'm a very good vomiter, I always run to the toilet. Not that talking about vomit is the best kind of topic, but I was so hungover I was vomiting up water that weekend. Serves me right.
So in answer to the question, if I did happen to own a pair of cowboy boots I'd bloody avoid barfing in them.
3) Can you think of a good poem about Wet Wet Wet?
They done a song that was number one for a while,
It was over played so much it gave me piles,
I think one of them tried acting,
And the rest for all I know could have drowned in the Nile.
I can do rhyming me.
4) Have you got any nice crockery?
I have some crockery that is probably twenty years old scrounged from my parents for studenting eating purposes.
5) Have you ever been so violently sick that your earrings fell off?
Why is there another question about vomit? Do you want me to tell you more about me throwing up everything that was in my bloody stomach the morning after I wore cones substituting breasts as seen in the banner? (Ironically I was sober when I wore them). I threw up even fucking water okay?
If I did wear earrings then I guess they might of fallen into the toilet bowl. At a guess you understand.
6) What's the most horrid thing you've ever done?
Fuck I dunno, I generally try to be nice. I did some horrible stuff when I was younger no doubt about that. But nothing so daily mail horrifying that I want to shout it out for all to read.
7) Do you think "Meat is Murder"?
Probably, but I'll develop a conscience when I'm of the age to develop one.
8) Has anyone ever told you you look like Beethoven?
No. But apparently I look like the lead singer of the band Fall Out Boy when wearing the hat in the photo below.
I gather fall out boy is a band where as the game is a man. It fucking confuses me.
9) What does Boy George remind you of?
A guy on 'pikey patrol' as little picking was called in my school. Crazy times.
10) Have you ever grown parsnips in your gumboot?
A gumboot? I don't really know what they are. But I don't like parsnips so it's quite likely I'll never grow them in my gumboot when and if I find it.
11) Have you ever worn a kilt?
Not yet. But then I've still not ruled out wearing women's clothing either.
12) If you were a domestic appliance, what would you be?
A microwave, so I can annoy people by going "I'm just like Kylie you know, I'm spinning around" repeatedly.
13) Why do so many girls fancy you?
They do? Why don't they tell me then? I don't mind girls if you want to say, we don't even need to date!
14) What's your favourite sandwich?
I am tempted to say subway just to get some kind of rant out of Dan, but I've only been to subway a few times a few times in Canada when I was 14, and the only think I remember about them was my dad asking for gerkins in his 'sub' confusing the poor canadians. That and trying root beer there. Foul stuff.
Summat with cheese is always good in a sandwhich.
15) What colour is Thursday.
Red, due to the amount of snakebite I seem to drink most thursdays.
Hello there blog of bastardry. I had a lovely weekend at home back in sexy Sussex, not bastardry Berkshire. Well I say lovely, it was a bit dull. Nice to get out of that university town, nice to see family again, nice to sneeze over cat again, nice to see the dull sleepy village again, nice to be a bit bored and hear the sound of silence alot and nice to actually crack on with some uni work.
Let's keep with the theme of nice shall we? Well it was nice to visit the Garden Centre I used to work at. Well I say garden centre, it's become less and less of garden centre with a hobbycraft and a fucking fitting room with gardener type clothes, it's not a Garden centre, it's a fucking glorified gift shop. Oh you'd think I'd learn not to slag of companies after that incident. Whoops! Well my 'potential oxford material' sister is working there now, my sister who got a promotion of two months there, and won employee of the month. To say she's doing better than her older brother is an understatement. The same month that one child wins employee of the month the other looses his job, I'm just glad my parents are the type who probably secretly compare us. Maybe not.
Sure I probably missed out on not going to a friends house party, Oh well, it's not as if I was told I was the life of the party. Well might of been. Sure I missed out on watching Lost with my housemates, which would have made it a more enjoyable watch just to extract the urine from the show, it's frustrating us, we need to drain the wee juice! But instead I gained umm... listening to mum singing R.E.M's Man of the Moon deliberatly loudly in the next room just because she thinks I've missed her singing.
Well I'll be back in that university town later today. Huzzah! I need a shave anyway. I brought with me my razor case but not my razor. Muppet. Maybe now is a good point to grow a fuck off ginger beard.
I'll leave you commentors to contemplate that. Good Night.
Hello, would you adam and eve it, there's snow. On my day off from uni I woke up at about 11:30, heard the postman knock on the door, went to the door and didn't notice the package on the doorstep. I am a Muppet at times. I went to the door in my pyjamas for no reason. Well one reason, to see the snow, woooooo! Look they have snow in that university town I'm in (I'm too scared to say which town thanks to that multi-national company). Hopefully it'll mean the trains will be okay tommorow when I go home from university town and try to explain that firing by that multi-national company who were so scared by my poorly written, angry rants of witterings online that they fired me (that's the view I have on it now). Dad didn't seem to bothered by it when I phoned last night, I don't think he knew quite what to say. My mum on other hand... Apparently she laughed when she heard of a similar thing happening to a friend of my sisters. Probably laughing safe in the knowledge that her own children wouldn't do such a thing... Whoops! Well it's probably best to explain it face to face sooner rather than later (such as easter holidays). And what with two fillings, losing job, lots of deadlines and feeling unwell it will be nice to get away from univeristy for a weekend.
In conclusion sluts, have a picture of the snow in Reading, I mean in university town.
...I shall pay attention to this peice of Futurama merchandise that has sat on my desk for a few weeks now.
Whoops I'm back blogging!
