Comic Relief Rant

I know it's for charity, I know it's a worthwhile honourable cause, I know I should be more like Billy Connelly, AntandDec, Davina McCall and do some well meaning moving appeal on behalf of Comic Relief and tell you how the money was spent, I know it's not really supposed to be about the comedy, it's supposed to be about raising money and comedy stars doing something generous and whatnot (I can't be assed to go with a cynical edge and wonder if the celebrities donated their own money to charity) and I know I'm a monster for not donating any money to comic relief this year but...

...the comedy was mostly quite shite. Let's get the first shite out. The Catherine Tate is Shite. Tony Blair? Oh dear... I can't quite put into words my dissapointment with the sketch, Tony is a bloody actor! I could do some political type message... but can't be arsed. Daniel Craig and David Tennat? Maybe not quite as horrible as the Tony "I am Bovvered" Blair Sketch. Maybe the Noel Edmunds sketch gentally amused me, but that would be just sheer to Noel Edmunds and the fact that Noel Edmunds amuses me.

Little Britain? Oh Piss off... although the Des Kaye sketch slightly amused me due to Matt and David using a character THEY HAVEN'T FUCKING DONE TO FUCKING DEATH (Such as Lou and Andy, Marjorie Dawes, Anne, Mr.Mann... oh most of the fucking show).

What else? Andy Pipkin and that character from Phoenix nights (I don't know, I ignore Peter 'supposed comic genius' Kay's work) duet. It was so amusing I missed the 'hilarious' lyric change. They changed walk to roll because both characters are ironically hilarious offensive wheelchair user sterotypes! Whoopie Shit. Okay the video wasn't that bad, my mouth slightly crinkled in the corner where a smile would form.Mitchell and Webb? They were alright, basically just consisted of them using the Numberwang Numberflan sketch and the Table of Reds sketch but slightly adapting them. So you got Chris DeBurg of the hit song by Keane of the same title fame joining them. Although it was quite unintentionally amusing watching Carol Vordeman and Johnny Ball appear in Numberwang completly confused as to what they had agreed to do.

I found Russel Brand slightly funny again... Whoops! But I might of been slightly delirous after watching TV straight from 7:30 onto 4 in the morning.

The Top of the Pops/Top Gear thingy was actually pretty alright. It featured the top gear team being amusing cocks. It also featured McFly where they had to write a song with 3 specified words in (Sofa, Administration and Hyundai for those of your with better things to do), they did a shit job, they just sang them in the chorus, I wrote my own song in 5 minutes which is so brilliant I want to share it with you now.

My wife has popped out a child,
Another bloody runt to the litter,
We've only got three Bedrooms,
I think we should...
MOVE HOUSE
We've got to
MOVE HOUSE
There's administration costs,
Gotta Get the sofa out of the living room
And drag it from your Huyandi Exhuast
The kid can't sleep in our room anymore,
Little Bethany wants a room with pink walls,
And we need fucking room to send the kids too,
I think we should...
[Repeat Chorus]
It's not like we don't like our house,
Infact we've got some fond memories,
Like having Rumpy Pumpy on the kitchen sink,
I think we should...
[Repeat Chorus x 2]

In your face McFly!

What else? Well the Armando Iannuci Time Trumpet style bit about Comic Relief was alright, but then it was on at 2:50 AM so at that point in a state of delirousness I forgave the hit and miss format of Time Trumpet.

Mighty Boosh just reusing material that was mildly amusing for fans but confusing as fuck for those who've never seen the show. (I've had to justify the comedy of pies during the secret police mans balls to two of my housemates and explain what was amsuing about the mighty boosh, no words really came out "It's ummm... strange... I'm strange... strange things amuse me" I believe I came out with)

I gave up watching the Simon Pegg and Nick Frost clip show presented show, I was doing so well, I watched upto the last half of it, but gave up and went to bed at 4AM. Pegg and Frost were their natual slightly amusing double act selves. And clips of Coogan and Serifinovich warmed my comedy heart

And whatelse? Oh I want to fucking slap the music selector. Using Overplayed hit Chasing cars for the well meaning please donate videos? Like no one has thought of that. At least they didn't use any fucking Coldplay or the Fray's how to save a life. Obvious music ques annoy the fuck out of me. I almsot threw a bottle at a screen in a cinema in Crawley when watching Wedding Crashers and the used coldplay for an 'emotional' scene.

But it's all okay because it was for charity of course.

I'm just gutted I missed the sugababes and girl aloud doing their cracking duet which is quite so awful it's leaving me confused as to wether it's so awful it's brilliant or just so awful it's shite.