Dan's MeMe

Morning, good morning. I'm going to quit the slightly disturbing tone my blog posts have gone recently (Poo WTF?) and do a good old MeMe that Dan, get this, invented, because he's a pioneer and shit. He's not shit.

What is your name? Yes, your real one?
Sir Stephen Clive Hardy.

What feeling does blogging give you?
A feeling of exhibtioning myself, a feeling of self promoting myself. I like the feeling I can blog about shit here, I never really like to talk about myself that much in real life, so I like the idea that instead of someone not listening to me and being bored, they can just scroll down or close their browser down and I'm none the wiser. And I like to try and make people laugh at times.

How many of the blogs you link to have you physically touched? In the flesh?
Well I'm not sure about the physically touching bit, but I've seen 5 of the 8 links to bloggers on my side in the flesh.

What do you do in the comfort of your own home when not blogging?
Stuff like thisTell me a thing that you wished you had blogged about but decided not to?
I'd probably wish this question was more what do you wish you'd blogged, but regretted?

But I'll answer the quesiton, my bitterness at the firing from that company, my secreat amount of pleasure I get from hearing the store is falling apart since I got fired, and how I want to go into specifics about it, but I don't want to go to court.

That and the lack of love life.

Why did you begin to blog?
Can't really remember, I enjoyed Dan's blog, so I thought I could do it too! (With Kandoo).

What do you enjoy about reading other people's weird ramblings?
I enjoy that sometimes they will make me laugh, sometimes they will recommend me stuff I might enjoy, and sometimes their own insecurities and thoughts they share on their blog makes me think I'm not the only one who feels these ways.

What would you never blog about?
About my non-interent assembled friends. Sure there might be one or two odd passing mentions to them, but nothing specific.

What is your blogging software of choice and why?
Blogger cos it just is.

Is Blog a really stupid word or is it just me?
Yes, but damn it, I can't think of a better word.


The bit about nothing in particular:
Can you name a highlight of the last year?
A higlight? I don't know. There's been some great times, let's just say because they'll be reading, meeting those bloggers peoples in the flesh (but not touching, well maybe brief touching).

I am not going to ask for a low. Instead, what's your favourite cake?
Chocolate

What makes you laugh?
Comedy. Would you Adam and Eve it?

What do you just not understand about puny humans?
How some can be confident arses and others aren't.

Why do people buy The Daily Express/Mail?
Because it's cheap, and people like to be outraged by EVERYTHING!

What music are you listening to right now and why?
I'm not. Because I don't want to. Was considering having the Jeremy Kyle show on as background noise, but I remembered it's a horrible show.

What makes a housewife drive an off-roader to take the kids to school?
Arogance and stupidity?

What colour pants are you wearing? (It's a compulsary meme question. Sorry)
Grey! Any excuse to have a look at my crotch!

What colour pants would you never wear?
Don't know really, not as if anyone sees me panties.

Why do people go out in tracksuits when they never do jogging or the gym?
Because it's cool, and all the kids in the ghetto (who love a bit of the old ghetto gospel) love to look cool.

Have you watched the new(ish) Battlestar Galactica?
This MeMe from Dan is just to ask me if I've got round to watching the DVD he brought me on Friday. I'm sorry Dan, not yet, I was going to watch it yesterday when I was tired and hungover but I saw it lasted 2 hours and 55 minutes and feared I'd just fall asleep.

How much difference does a please and thankyou make?
All the difference, well it's nice to polite innit?

Where is Gary Coleman?
Up his own arse? I don't know.

Why did you do this meme?
Because Dan would disown me from his Blog family.

Taking a break from the regular poo blog posts...

Houseparty. Alcohol. My Whiteboard.I was? Oh, that'll explain the headache at the moment.

Catch up post

The last couple of days have been quite interesting blog? Want to hear about them? It might be quite long. No? Oh well, scroll down to the end of the blog and look at the pic of my arse and then leave.

Not wishing to start up a theme in my blog posts, but my first point on the agenda is poo. I'm getting the poo in early because it give me plenty of oppurtunity for some creative writing by inserting as many poo puns as possible. Did you know I'm on a graphic design degree of sorts? No I never talk about it, I'm not quite sure why not, maybe there's just not much comedy to be extracted from it. Anyway as part of the design degree of sorts I and someone else was selected (guess I must be pleasing some people of the graphic desing degree of sorts) to do some design work for the Royal Society (which apparently is a big deal, but I'm quite niave of science, and don't really understand science, that's what happens when you have a science teacher of dad). One of the features of the display will be a gut model, which we foolish agreed to be shown, I not quite realising it was 4 valves passing poo (real poo) around through pipes simulating the colon. Apparently at the exhibtion the real thing will only have brown coloured liquid, probably for the best, poo smells folks. Geh! Poo!

I entered the bowles of London (thanks Dan) last night to watch the Mitchell and Webb comdians (who do have some shit on the C.V. people) with their cohorts to record another part of their quite good radio sketch show. It was solid comedy stuff as usual, all the strongest material was on the first night and sadly the quality of the material may have declined a little (Geh!). The heat in studio certainly didn't assist my comedy enjoyment factor. Blasted heat. But I enjoyed seeing the comedy with the Cheryl and Dan and their respective cohorts. The comedy was certainly not of the quality where I can poo puns, but the shit storm on Oxford Street was a bit annoying when walking down it. And I was annoyed in the bowles of me on the bowles of London (Oxford Street) when I couldn't find any good shitting points, I'm not paying to shit, and the one in Virgin was closed, and I just can't work out how the fuck to use those McDonalds taps on Oxford Street. Don't worry, my hands got quite the thorough clean after I had seen the gut model. I'm so sorry that I've now got the delussion in my blog posts that you wanted to hear of my pooing woes.

On Thursday night I might have well shat on the stage at karaoke and would have got a more welcome reception. "But Richard hasn't heard you sing" was enough encouragement I needed to do Karaoke. I decided it would be fucking hilarious to do Avril Lavigne's Sk8er Boi (I almost wrote Sk8er Boil, now imagine the songs, boiling fresh skaters!). I got booed during it, and as not a regular karoke singer I often forget I can't hold a tune, admitedly I was egging on some of the booing, but apparently there was cheering at the end (that I'd finished) and people were singing along to it (why weren't they singing louder over my voice eh?). Video footage may exist of this haunting rendition, my friend's phone was definetly pointed at the stage, and I never quite got confirmation he did record it). No one would want such a video on YouTube anyway. Would hurt their ears.

And now as promised, the photo of my arse, I could explain the context to the photo, but why bother. Poo comes out my arse folks!

I'm feeling sadistic today blog...

...so I'm not going to allow myself to go upstairs and poo until I've done this long MeMe that Dan did. Christ I need a poo. It feels a little runny.

Are your parents married or divorced?:
Married, they celebrated their silver recently, well a couple of years back. Wooo! Marraige! Carriage! Clock!

Are you a vegetarian?:
No. I like my meat too much, and have no conscience.

Do you believe in Heaven?:
No, gay clubs don't exist, their is no such thing as gay culture, I'm not even convinced gays even exist (Irony folks!)

Have you ever come close to dying?:
I might be if I don't do this poo soon.

What jewellery do you wear 24/7?:
I am from the ghettos so do where the bling and the bling all day and night long when out with my dawgs.

Are you eating?:
Nothing, that would just add more to shit out. Do I look like I want to do an even bigger poo than I'm already going to do.

Do you eat the stems of broccoli:
Yes, they're the best bit.

Do you wear makeup?:
Loads, I'm not seen dead out with out a bit of lippy, foundation, mascara and fake tits.

Would you ever have plastic surgery?:
I would like a seel put over my bottom to hold in my shit.

What do you wear to bed?:
Pyjamas, cos I'm cool like that.

Have you ever done anything illegal?:
Illegal downloading? Yes. Real immoral illegal? Don't be silly, I have a conscience, well a limited one.

Can you roll your tongue?:
I think so.

Do You have a boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Girlfriend? Why that's my favourite song by Avril Lavigne that I love singing a tad too much, enough for my sister's boyfriend said to me "sort it out mate"

Do you believe in Abortions?:
Well with my limited conscience I think they're morally right.

What is your Hair colour?:
GINGER!

Future child’s name, boy and girl?:
Whitewash for my son, and Piegon for my girl.

Do you smoke?:
Nope. Can I smoke out my poo?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
The Former Yougslavian Republic of Macedonia, just because I want my photo taken outside a sign for that country. Or Scunthorpe so I can put my hands around the rude word in the name.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?:
My Yoda!

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?:
I'd buy myself a museum, I dunno which one, that one that's a bit up the arse. Oh shit arse, I need a poo.

Gold or Silver?:
Blinging with the minging blud.

Hamburger or hot dog?:
Hamburger, I'd rather eat one then watch a dog pant inside a car.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?:
I don't want to eat food now, I'm just needing a poo.

City, beach or country?:
Poo!

What was the last thing you touched?:
Touching Cloth.

Where did you eat last?:
Chips from Mr.Cod (what a name) on the way back from dissapointing student night out.

When’s the last time you cried?:
Why are there always these questions, ask me when the last time I pooed, because it was two second ago in my pants. Not really.

Do you read blogs?:
I think so.

What colour are your pants?
BROWN!

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?:
Might be a laugh, and reminds me I have to drag up for a friend 21st birthday in November.

Ever been involved with the police?:
I might do if they make holding in poos illegal, which they should.

Oh fuck it, I can't hold it in anymore and this MeMe is really long like the type of sausage shape I might just produce, toodles.

Political satire in pop music!

Back in February I told you about big history fans Girls Aloud and the Sugababes and their homage to the Berlin Wall in the video for Walk this way (which was for charity, charity fans). Well today I'm going to tell you about how Beyonce and Shakira, two ladies who aren't from the United Kingdom, are infact massive fans of British politics. And why wouldn't they be exactly? Here is popular singer Shakira, her hips don't lie, but that's not important right now. In this video she plays Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, Mr. Tony Blair. Yes a little suspension of disbelief is required. Tony doesn't wear dresses!Here is the bit more popular singer Beyonce (she's been in films apparently), in this video she plays David William Donald Cameron, Mr. David Cameron, again suspension of disbelief is required, after all neither Dave nor Tony have lady lumps (although let's not rule out some moobs). Anyway in the video, Shakria and Beyonce, or Tony and David, battle in a series of different locales to show their different policy agreements.Now personally I don't really know what political disagreements the two men (played by ladies in the video, remember) have, the video deliberatly keeps it vague, they might be disagreeing on kittens V puppies, controlled imigration and the opposite to that (unlimited imigration?), being interviewed by Catherine 'bovvered' Tate or being interviewed by Johnathon Ross, the point is they disagree, but their only minor disagreements, because the locales are minute in their differences, that's why they don't appear in the same shot until the final verse.But here's the political satire folks, David Cameron? Tony Blair? I can't tell the difference, they're both as bland as bland. The New Statesman has unfavourably likened Cameron's "new style of politics" to Tony Blair's early leadership years (I can read the wikkipedia folks). They're just the same, like how Shakira and Beyone look in the video, I can't tell them apart. I thought it would be impossible for the conservatives and labour to be alike, like Beyonce and Shakira looking a like, but look, they do! They ruddy do!Look, I can't tell them apart. Shakira and Beyonce are political satire gods! They should write for private eye.

Gah!

Whilst walking across the park today on a lovely sunny sumer day on my way to post a lovely reply to a survey delivered to our house by the conservative party (in which I mainly just said tories were wankers and that my name was Wayne Carr, because I'm a coward, and have some hatred of tories I can't quite articulate and I do stuff for my own amusement) I passed a group of 3 young men (I'm so old) playing football. The footieball travelled off the pitch (mainly due to one young man kicking the ball too hard, how reckless) and travelled near the footpath I was walking along. The ball was travelling quite slowly and not that near to me so I thought that I wouldn't be expected to kick the ball back to them. The ball eventually landed about half way between the net and the footpath I walking too. The chap was gently walking to get the ball, please see the diagram below for a visual representation of this situation.But the guy shouted "GINGER*" at me expecting me to kick it to him, but it's was half way between both of us, if it was nearer to me than him then I might of, I was going by my own football kicking back equation I've some how picked up subconsciously multiplied by my lazyness. But no, he kept shouting "GINGER" as I kept walking down the path, eventually shouting out "GINGERNUTS". There needs to be government guidlines as to, inwhich situation and aproximate distances, one might be to kick the football that has gone off pitch back to the players. It would have spared be being called GINGERNUT.

Sort it out Tony Blair or Gordon Brown (but not David Cameron, but maybe Ming the Meaningless).

* The expected term for a stranger of similar gender is Mate, and not ginger, whilst it's a point of pride, it isn't a name.

Revision time means Procasination time!

Hello there art lovers, for you today I have a wonderful peice of art produced by an up and coming young artist (me). Yesterday I brought a bit too much chocolate from Tescos, some easter chocolate that was being sold cheap (I brought 8 creams eggs, I don't even like them that much, but they were 8p each), I also brougth a smarties eater egg, which came with some crayons. Now as a young and up and coming artist, I haven't used the medium of crayons for a fair few years, but I thought that getting 3 exciting crayons in the middle of my easter egg was the perfect oppurtunity I was looking for to do some art. So today ladies and gentlemen 'I present, a view from my window'Until Tracy Emin experiments in the art of Crayons, I will continue to deny her as one of my fellow artists.

Recently I have been raiding microwaves...

...mostly I didn't find stuff of interest, just people's microwaveable dinners I had interupted mid rotation (I got chucked out of one person's house because I stopped their cup of beans mid microwaving), but today I found a fantastic tacky London souviner dress up set in my housemates microwave.I don't think it's in anyway arogant of me to say I look extrodinarly dashing in the pic.

Hey! Hey! You! You! I want you to get a haircut! No Way!

After a year and a week of not having a haircut, I finally got one yesterday, and because that Bert, Jemima, Cheryl and even Dan bloggers blogged about their haircuts, I feel I have to do the same.Okay it's just a trim and not that exciting, but most imporantly I no longer get my hair in my mouth when eating me beans on toast, hooray!

I love tat and I cannot lie

You other brothers can't deny,
When you go to a pub in Leicestershire,
and see a crappy coaster,
You wanna collect six of them,
for scattering around your house.There should be more rap songs about Leicestershire.

Wank Holiday Monday MeMe

1. My 'ex' is still - the person who gave me a large novelty sized pencil when I was seven probably.

2. I am listening to - Mitchell and Webb, I do enjoy leaving the media player on random.

3. Maybe I should - Chuck the cat from out of my room, he just sleeps on my bed, covers in cat hair and makes me sneeze loads! I love cats, I don't want to be allergic to them, but I am.

4. I love - Cats.

6. I don't understand - myself at times.

7. I lost my respect for - Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

8. I last ate - Celebrations from a easter egg, you only got one of each, stingey, but I'm not breaking unexpected news when I say easter eggs are mostly packaging nowadays!

9. The meaning of my display name is - I am the ginger bastard because I got called a ginger bastard twice in one day (once by that Dan chap) and I settled on that.

10. Love is - that thing that all the songs are about.

11. Someday - Blooody Sunday, really captures the frustration of Sunday, you have to read the papers, wash the car and you say to yourself 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' Rough quote from Alan Partridge

12. I will always - be odd?

13. I never ever want to lose - my sense of humour.

14. When I woke up this morning - I was amazed I'd woken up quite early today, 9! doing well!

15. I get annoyed at - stuff that I can't think of at the moment, but when exposed to I get annoyed by.

16. Parties - They're alright. Never that fussed by them, having them down a corridor can be fun.

17. My pet - is a cat, which is causing me to sneeze, but insists on sleeping on my bed, and I'm too nice to take him off! Oh I think I've ranted about that already.

18. Kisses - are probably lovely if I'm not auquard about physical contact, I can barely manage hugs.

19. Today I - watched The Departed, although I'm annoyed by the fucking rat that runs accross the bottom of the closing shot! Oh I've thought of something that annoys me!

20. I wish - good health to all people reading this, and asking if I could have a promise of any organs going because, well you never know what might happen.

21. I really want - next term of uni to start again?

01. Is your hair wet? No, I'm a pikey 'straightey' and only shower ever other day if I can be bothered. "Really, straighteys only shower ever other day?" said the housemate, well a housemate.

02. Is your cell phone right by you? It's somewhere in my room.

03. Do you miss someone? No.

04. Are you tired? Not really.

05. Are you cranky? Nah, I only do cranky to myself and never inflict cranky or miserableness of myself on anyone else. I think it's called not letting it out and holding it in.

06. Are you wearing pajamas? No, it's 5:50pm, I'd have to be quite lazy to still be in Pajamas.

HAVE YOU -

01. Recently done anything you regret? Nah, things I regret happen the week before and niggle away for a few weeks making me think "geez, I regret that"

02. Ever lied? At times, little white lies.

03. Ever stuck gum under a desk? Ewwwww. I tried to be cool and like gum, but I just don't, too much chewing, hurts my teeth. I pretended to myself that I liked gum for a bit, like I pretended to myself I liked Green Wing for a bit, until I admited to myself, they're just rubbash.

04. Ever kicked someone? Yes, it's called football and hacking and defending.

05. Ever tripped over your own feet? At times, when I'm clutzy.

TODAY -

01. Have you cursed? Probably, I do love my swearing.

02. Have you yelled at someone? Mini yell at the cat? Asking why he wants to come in my room again!

03. Have you gotten mad at someone? No.

RANDOM -

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now? Nope.

Q: Do you have any siblings? One younger sister.

Q: Do you want children? At some point in my life, yes.

Q: Do you smile often? Probably.

Q: Do you wish on stars? I don't do praying.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? No I don't, I am a five years old.

Q: Do you like your handwriting? Not really, no one can read the numbers I write, and I think £40 might have got lost, because I paid it in via an envelope because I couldn't be bothered to queue at the bank, but I'm not entirely sure the money went into my account. Proably should check that at some point.

Animation time! Back by popular demand, well some demand, well more requests.

That Jemima lady person requested I get off my arse and get on my arse and make another yoda animation which I made on my blog of a different address and being last year, so I'd thought I'd make one, although this one doesn't star or feature yoda, but does star some of your star wars friends!

Midnight MeMe

Oh I love crime me, I'm just one of those people if I see something nice another person has, I nick it, like this MeMe Jemima has done.

1. Where is your cell phone? It's on my chest of drawers. Come on, excite me MeMe, ask me a more interesting question. I could lie for the sake of interestment and say it's down my crack. Call it and make it vibrate!
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes I have one, oh wait no I don't. Might be nice to have one.
3. Hair? I'll get it cut sometime soon, honest. I know I said I'd get it cut on Friday last week, then I said Wednesday, then I said Thursday, but it will happen sooner or later. Actually sooner, before the start of next term, so that's over two weeks. My reason for putting it off? I just like to put things off.
4. Your mother? Oh don't encourage me to bitch, she's lovely.
5. Your father? Oh don't encourage me to bitch, he's lovely.
6. Your favorite item(s)? My DVD collection probably, because it's fun to be materialistic. It's scattered, half in Reading, half in the village outside Crawley.
7. Your dream last night? Can't remember, what I remember of the morning was hearing the phone ring, that probably woke me up, didn't bother to answer it. Turned out it was just my mum who needed help in word.
8. Your favorite drink? Coca-Cola is always good with me. I could be a good student and give some alcomahol answer, but Coke is where it's at for me.
9. Your dream guy/girl? Good sense of humour, someone who doesn't take life to seriously, someone driven, so they will give me a bit of drive in my life.
10. The room you are in? A bit of a mess, I can't be bothered to unpack when I'm only going to be home for a couple of weeks. Look at the photo, because I love photos.I draw the defendents eyes to the R2-D2 action figure sitting atop the dalmation cuddly toy.
11. Your fear? That I'm always going to be a lazy shit and not do anything with my life.
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? I dunno, I'm a student, I only go to university because I wouldn't know what else to do with my life between the ages of 18 and 21. I am studying graphic design, but I'm not entirely convinced it's what I want to do with my life.
13. Who did you hang out with last night? My family, wasn't really hung, more pottered around.
14. What are you not? Putting off getting a haircut, oh wait, yes I am.
15. Are you in love? Not really.
16. One of your wish list items? A new laptop.
17. What time is it? A bit after midnight, hence the midnight MeMe, keep up back there!
18. The last thing you did? Talk to my sister after she came back from a party, I think she was a little tipsy, my fault for letting her drag me to the shops to buy her alcohol.
20. Your favorite book? As has been established this week with my blog, I prefer to ask other people that rather than answer it myself.
21. The last thing you ate? A Breakaway bar and a Penguin bar combined into one super chocolate biscuit. Basically I just ate both of them, one biscuit under the other, at the same time.
22. Your life?
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.This Choon is gonna be massive!
23. Your mood? Alright suppose.
24. Your friends? A good laugh and welcome company when I grow tired of my own.
25. What are you thinking about right now? I might go to bed before 2 AM tonight.
26. Your car? What? And get driving lessons again after getting scared of by them when I was 17 after a few lessons. I think not fool!
27. What are you doing at this moment? Wanting to quote what Mimey wrote, so I shall 'Frowning at the stupidity of such a question when clearly the answer is answering a meme I stole while trawling the blogs.' Now I'm proof reading my blog, and trying to find parts where I can inject a little humour.
28. Your summer? I want to do something productive with it, I want to get a job back home, I want to keep myself busy, but as I wrote earlier in this blog, I like to put stuff off, and I'm not driven.
29. Your relationship status? Single.
30. What is on your TV screen? Nothing, my tv is behind my head.
31. When is the last time you laughed? Bert's most recent blog entry made me chuckle.
32. Last time you cried? Not since one drunken evening last year.
33. School? What about it? It wasn't as shit a time as I'd like to pretend it was, but it wasn't that great a time for me.
34. Wishing, hoping, thinking, praying? I dunno, I need to be more driven to find something to wish, hope, think and pray for.
35. What are you listening to? I just listened to some Nelly Furtado and now I'm onto Red Hot Chilli Peppers, I do enjoy loads of music and leaving media player on random.
36. Where do you want to be right now? I dunno, might be nice to be out having a laugh, and not necessarily drunk.

What I watched last night

Last night I watched that Mitchell and Webb comedians of PC and Mac fame and probably some television delight fame (with their loyal stalkers Cheryl and Dan, who I happened to find pictures of them on google images when I searched for a pic to accompany this post), record the third series of their hit radio show That Mitchell and Webb Sound. And without going into specifics (mainly because I can't really remember specifics, and I'd like to pretend that I'm caring and such to my fans so as to not spoil it for fans) I really enjoyed it. Surreal and stupid as usual, but it featured the usual Mitchell and Webb quirks one might expect, David Mitchell being posh and excited for a change. It was delightful stuff that I felt more than happy to add my laughter to the show. Much funnier than an underwhelming radio two pilot that the Mitchell and Webb double act recorded a couple of weeks ago that I neglected to blog about because it just underwhelmed me. That Mitchell and Webb sound is much funnier! Listen to that, when it's on the radio, and then released on audio CD in quick sucession, oh I love a comedy cash cow.

Also because I'm wild and recless I stayed up till 1:40 AM (AM, yes AM, wild!) to watch Fuck off I'm Ginger. I was expecting some awful show I'd switch off at about 5 minutes in, what I found was a slightly an interesting, quirky little documentry that I actually enjoyed. Presented by the ginger of half of Big Cook Little Cook (you know the show, don't pretend you have lives or are an adult) it featured him being honest about his lack of love life, as well as sciencey bits, meeting other gingers and him generally a cheerful delightful charming host.Of course there was the necessary titilation, a run through of nicknames for gingers, the necessary issue of ginger pubes with a guy who dyes his hair (traitor!) and the show featured such Z list stars as Bradley from Eastenders and Fizz from corrie, but excusing those factors it was an honest look at being ginger. It was concluded nicely, it's not really about being ginger in regards to how you live life, it's all about confidence. I just wish they had called it something other than 'Fuck off I'm ginger', to me it implied an obnoxious smug television program much in the vain of the ginger survival guide, when infact it wasn't that. I'd like to think the delightful night of comedy put me in a good mood, but I found it a charming little show. BBC3 hasn't all become shit, huzzah!

I was a lame eleven year old

At the age of eleven, I wrote a letter to another hero of mine, typed out nicely on a probably windows based computer (might of been an acorn computer, they did sincerly rock), asking this hero of mine what his favourite book as part of world book day or week or summat and also asking for a signed photo. I got a reply which I was overjoyed about. I really can't remember what I said as my favourite book, might have been some lame star wars novel which only brought joy to me as it furthered the cash cow. Anyway, here is the reply.Fool of a secretary, you don't need to indent paragraphs and hit return. I'm dissapointed I was not told which books Mr.Blair enjoys now, say the Da Vinci code or some erotic fiction. But I'm pleased through my blog I know have the means to thank him for his best wishes, thanks tony, your best wishes meant alot to me. They inspired me to where I've got to today. Although I never did get my signed photo of the Prime Minister, I would have settled for a facsimilie Tony! I showed this letter to my pet dolphin, but he just was frustrated.My aim is to write a lame letter to our next prime minister Gordon Cameron in 2008, so I can continue this pathetic lame child series of blog posts.

I was a lame eight year old

At the age of eight, I wrote a letter to a hero of mine, typed out nicely on a BBC computer, asking this hero of mine what his favourite drink was and also asking for a signed photo. I got a reply which I was overjoyed about.Lemon? Too right I need my dissapointment fucking alleviated. Favourite drink lemon? Lemon what? Lemonade? Lemon squash? Lemon Juice? Some alcoholic lemon variety of lemon like lemon snakebite or summat? Lemon? Does John Major get all his liquid nourishment from just sucking lemons? Is Edwina Curry's petname lemon? I just don't understand.

If you're wanting to see the photograph enclosed with a facsimilie of his autograph (why couldn't they say copy? I was eight, I don't understand words like facsimilie, I only vaguely knew about similies at that age! I still only vaguely know about similies, damm you GCSE English!) then wait no longer, here it is being used as a rather poor cat scary picture.This isn't an april fools, although I did consider doing a blog april fools.