Random Student Evening and TV Geh?

TV Geh? would so be the title of my TV show if people feel they don't have enought choice of shows about telly, what with there being Harry Hill's TV Burp and Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe.

Anyway onto my first point on my blog minutes, random student evening. It started with me discussing with my friend after watching Bruce Willis on the Daily Show and an advert for the queen (that filum) my potential franchise film, Zombie Diana, my aim for the film series for it to be the most offensive film ever for Daily Mail readers. I would say more, but then I might actually start writing it. Which I probably won't.

Then onto the student union for the quiz, we didn't win, we never win, but it's the taking part that counts. Then onto a student bar in halls with the promise of pound a pints, what with the alcohol froth going out of date during the summer break. I cosumed a couple of pints, and got a delightful history timeline drawn on my arm. Well I got some delightful trigonometry fun drawn on my arm last thursday (SOH CAH TOA in da house), it seems only fair to have history timeline drawn on my arm (1929 Wall Street Crash!), although I wanted better use of me veins as a timeline. But oh well, no need to be picky. Maybe next week I could have a venn diagram on my arm or some science, I'm open to suggestions.

Then off to some chippy for a 99p Pizza, bargain, tiny of course, but 99p? That's so cheap, it's almost exciting. Even if I did pay 30p more for them to hide peperoni under my cheese (under cheese? this is an outrage). Then for some reason it was proposed with have a Doctor Who marathon, all of the second series (that one that David Tennant started in). Great! Well probably, although it beat walking back in the dark through Reading on my own in 2AM fearing the dogging filled park of fundom. I lasted until 7:30 after that Cyberman episode with that guy from Only Fools and Horses that I should have fond affetion for if I bothered to watch Only Fools and Horses (isn't the Green Green Grass just turdily hilarious?). It was my realisation there was seven more episodes to go (I thought six, forgot Mark Gatiss sold episode about TeeeeVeees, but remembered that Peter Kay episode, ugh! Shit). So I went home to bed for a couple of hours of kip to be a woken with a TV Geh?

You know tennis, well the tennis cup this year is being held in Wimbledon. I kid of course, I know of Wimbledon. Well what I loathe more and more on TV is Montages. The montage that started Wimbledon coverage today was just plain non-sensical. Tony Blair, 10 years in office as Prime Minister resigned a day ago or two. Tim Henman knocked out of his 14th wimbledon, but he says he'll be back next year, sure he won't win, but he enjoys it. That Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocell song time to say goodbye. Combine all three things into one montage? Intercut famous quotes of Tony with old footage of Timbo. But... Tim isn't saying goodbye, he'll have a holiday, and be back playing tennis. Tony is saying goodbye for being prime minster for good. Why intercut these two things together in one montage? How does the 'friend of foe' quote from Tony link to Timbo? Tim doesn't have foes, he plays tennis. It's just a nonsensical montage! Tim Henman crashed out of Wimbledon the day after Tony crahsed out of office! I just don't understand it. TV Geh?

Well goodbye, may not be blogging for a week, but I'll be back. Ciao.

Frozen object of the week!

Yes, it's everyone's favourtie regular blog post on the more strawberry blond bastard's blog of bastardry, frozen object of the week. Remember last week when I showed you my frozen turd, well this week I've found something even better, a frozen can of strongbow. This is so exciting that I at once took it outside to the garden and dropped it on the patio to hear the satisfyingly amusing 'fud' that met me when I dropped it on concrete.Some scientists think the freezing process has made the cidery goodness make the foam slightly dent the top of the can all by itself. Historians are looking at the cause for the great freezing of the strongbow can, could it all be explained through the key word, student? Who knows, I'm neither a scientist nor historian.

I'm wet

Hello. Rain. Water. Soaked Jeans, fringe wet, bit cold, so let's do a MeMe! Dan did it. It looked quick, then afterwards I'll chuck up the video blog I did yesterday, but chickened out of putting up on my blog, but that Cheryl said I should put it up, blame her, praise me. Anyway, onto the MeMe.

Favourite joke?
I'm useless at remembering jokes, mainly because I don't really like jokes, too conventional comedy wise. Although my favourite and only joke I remember hearing recently is What happens when you come across a lion? Wipe it off. I'm sure I've blogged that hilarious joke already. Oh well.

Team-mate?
I'm on a team? I don't quite understand. I most certainly don't have a breeding partner.

Opponent?
Rain. Fecking rain.

Other sport?
Sport? I am a nerd, I don't do sport.

Shop?
FOPP! Fopp! It's just a reassuringly nice sounding noise. Fopp?

TV/Radio Show?
I only listen to one radio show at the moment, so that one is easy, that mitchell and webb sound, as for favourite TV show, obviously the IT Crowd (I kid, I watched it last night, and just thought it was a terrible waste of Christopher Morris' talents), Peep Show, I'll go with that.

Mode of Transport?
I like foot when it's not raining, but I don't like paying for transport. I'm a cheapskate.

Item of Clothing?
Pants. Keeps me Jaffas in their place.

Night out?
The Pub Quiz slash Karaoke at the student Union on Thursday. Good little night out that is.

Sporting Memory?
Me crying because I didn't want to do cross country in the rain? What was the fecking point of cross country. Although it could be a nice little stroll at times, walking and having a chat.

Gadget?
My external hard drive, storer of all my illegal downloads.

Place in London?
Well I always go to Forbidden Planet when I'm in London. The Drill Hall is fun. Paddingtion is fun because I enjoy saying 'Padders' The Royal Society sumemr science show next week is a fun plug because it's got some desiging from me.

Now the video blog.
Sorry, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

How good was the season finale...

...to the people's quiz?Such drama, such tension, such pulse generating tension. I had travelled on a journey with these people in my need for Doctor Who to start earlier. Such a variety of difficult questions to help find the brightest, cleverest, brainiest people in Britain. If you didn't know who starred in the 2004 Film 'Shall we Dance' with Richard Gere, you are obviously not worthy of the show (it's Jennifer Lopez). In the end a modern day suffragette won the show, the man (William G Stewart) tried to get her down by saying only a man could win it, but boy was his face red! Now thanks to the winner of the people's quiz, maybe women will get the vote soon.

Jamie Theakston proved to be a charistmatic host, a man the contestants loved. In the season finale a student failed to score any points of the brain chain, Jamie being the lovely chap he is enquired as to the students BITTER FAILURE "What went wrong? Nerves?" "I just didn't know the answers" Wonderful banter! A favourite bit of Jamie banter I enjoyed over all the other banter was during the hit spin off show on BBC2, when he met a lovely gentlemen who with the awsome advantage of MATHS was able to work out the day when assulted with a date from the past century. The banter between the two men I loved, and have commited to memory.

"What's your date of birth?"
"21 December 1977" said Jamie.
"1977?" says the contestant in a stilted way, trying to hide the fact he's dealing with scripted banter.
"Oh okay" says Jamie in a mocking jokey 'Oh my gosh' way "1970"
"Tuesday"
"That's amazing, I have no idea if you're right"
For all we know he could have been talking shit, he could have, but he had the awsome advantage of MATHS, probably the reason he didn't end up on the final show because MATHS isn't for quizes, celebritiy knowledge is.

Back to the season finale, oh what excitement at various points I was literally shouting at my screen for some montages! Come on Montages! Feature some Snow Patrol! I want crying as well! And you know what? The geniuses at the people's quiz were happy force in as many montages as permited in the hour long fun spectaculor.

So in conclusion I went on a powerful journey with the people of the people's quiz, and my saturdays won't be the same without it. Role on the next season!

Virgin Media want me dead

No, I'm not going to start ranting about the Virgin Media take over of NTL and complain that I'm missing lost or 24 (cos I downloaded them instead on my Virgin Media connection, although I'm still not sure why I bothered downloading the recent series of 24, what a turd), I am (of course) refering to the vans that drive around from Virgin Media. One would assume these vans go around installing lovely Virginny Richard 'Him from Casino Royale' Branson goodness down cable pipes.

What with being a happy go lucky pedestrain with a disregard for Motorists, I get annoyed when I cross a traffic lights and those fecking car wheel lovers try and speed up really quickly to escape having to stop at the lights. Well a week ago (I meant to blog this sooner, but hey, I had more important things to blog like cocks and art) a driver of a virgin media van did this very thing. No real reason to link death and Virgin Media (unless anyone wants to calculate some idea of a man strangling himself with Virgin Media cabling), but it was as a crossed the road after the virgin Media van breaked that I suspected death linkage, for you see this van had the caption "Near Miss" on the side of the van. Near Miss (refering to its lovely and only aspect worth being a Virgin Media customer, on demand service) but more seeming to ring in my mind that the van had just had a near miss in fucking hitting me! And there's another van going around saying "Faster, Faster, Faster" which of course means they want to run pedestrains over.

It's a sick world we live in, more people should be chasing cars (what does that even mean?) than cars chasing men. 'Oh let's have fun, with cars chasing men...'