Juvenilia

Inspired by Adam and Joe's recent feature here is a book I created at the age of eleven, a book that maybe you'll enjoy, or not, it's short so won't take up too much of your time. I present to you HappyHead - The Happy Menace. I could try and set this up and explain the character of HappyHead, but I'm pretty sure he's just a floating head. On with the story, a fantastic spoof of Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace!The Bonkers Mail like it, so maybe you will, it's a credible source (could I be making satire about the real Daily Mail? Probably not, but I'd like to think so). I'm not enjoying my use of the evil typeface comic sans on this, poor show son.Ever had a book dedicated to you? No? Well you have now! I probably should explain I produced other HappyHead books, but I probably binned them, shame.Recognise the 'plot'. I'm disappointed I made no mentions to taxation, trading and negotiations which also featured in the well loved Star Wars film.I think the floating head is probably capable of jumping.For someone called 'HappyHead' he isn't half a miserable shit, smile!Oh he's smiling now he sees some Battle Droids.Silly HappyHead. Ouch this is a bit dark, could I not think of a better way to end it? Well it is a spoof! (apparently)So I felt bad about killing off the little fun bundle, so I enclosed a card for the reader. I also decided to graffiti my charming book a few years later, what a nob I was at seventeen, fortunately at twenty I now appreciate good literature.

And what of the other books? I only really remember the sick teacher book where HappyHead helped his sick teacher, a real heart warming tale. Maybe I'll find it, or maybe it's in a land site.

But what does the card say inside?I hope you enjoyed this tale. Incidentally, if you want some surprisingly decent star wars juvenillia, you could do a lot worse than this.

I liked it in last night's Doctor Who when...

...Donna Nobel was out time and all she had was four minutes to save the world.

What a marvelous homage to Madonna (Ft Justin Timberlake) (produced by Timbaland)'s hit song 4 minutes. You know, the song that goes 'I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes', you know, the one that says 'We only got 4 minutes to save the world'. Russel T sure loves Timbaland! Although I imagine I'm probably the only one who thought about this when watching the cracking episode.

I look forward to more winks to timaland in the next two episode (as well as winks to probably everything in the past four season as well as winks to the spin offs) such as Rose being 'too late to apolgise', the Jack telling doctor that he can love his just 'the way I are' and later telling him to 'give it to me' and of course some of the characters will 'Scream, at the top of your lungs, If your [their] body's feeling right'. How are these Timbaland Doctor Who gags working for you? Pretty terribly I imagine.

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Now playing: Madonna - 4 Minutes
via FoxyTunes

Customary big brother post

Well I'd spent the afternoon consoling myself (partly celebrating) after getting my degree classification (I got a 2:2, go umm... me! Meh) and I needed a drink to bridge the gap between my afternoon drinking and my evening drinking so popped into my local premiere store (other corner shops are available, but this one is nearer to my house). I decided instead of shop lifting (which I usually do), I'd pay for my pear cider (what can I say, I was drunk, that's a comment about me not shop lifting, and not my alcohol choice). Whilst paying the lady, to which I was making my purchase exchange with, she asked me about big brother (had I been watching? what's my thoughts?). Fortunately in my neurosis nervous panic constipation regime morning (what I mean by this phrase, only I have a vague idea, basically I was nervous) I foolishly read a little of this new series online to blag it. There's a couple/ was a couple in it, woah. I blagged it, summat about every year I tell myself I'm not interested in it, but somehow manage to know something of what's going on. I can't really remember the conversation is, the point is, I should be offended that I apparently look like a big brother watcher.

If I'd brought a copy of heat, by all means label me as a big brother watcher but I hadn't, better magazine are available. Is it now accepted that one must watch big brother? As a student (just about now) am I expected (as I have loads of free time) to watch this show? There's better to watch! Ask me about heroes (I'm still too early to add my thoughts on the season two finale, I think it was thingy that did it), ask me of Doctor Who (Yeah I quite like Donna, and I look forward to seeing Dave Ross in it), ask me on Lost (Jeremy Bentham is him?), ask me about Battlestar Galactica (I like that my friend that hasn't watched this season, but wanted spoilers, doesn't believe what I say happens). Geek Teevee is better, maybe I don't look geekey enough, just 'indie' maybe? Do 'indie' people watch big brother?

What's my point? Oh yes, I'm only blogging about big brother to conform with the masses. I want the camp one to win, he's hilarious.

(I did watch almost two episode because I have too much free time, don't remember much to say on them).

This is not a toy

Now I like Doctor Who as much as the next geek who lives on the internet, I dare say I've got a few Doctor Who toys, I dare say I want more (the weeping angel one and the Simon Pegg one, and I'd like them to do a Sally Sparrow figure (and I would like to do Sally Sparrow, but thats not for here)) but this is just taking the piss (I dare say).It's not a toy! What's poseable about that? What fun can one have? Now I dare say it's a few years since I'd have little adventures with my toys (Han Solo and Chewie sure used to have fun out in the garden) but what fun can someone have with a frame?
'Destroyed Casandra': Shit I'm destroyed! I need help, ah DOK-TOR, I see you there, help me!
Doctor: Cassandra! How can you see? How can you talk?
'Destroyed Casandra': Umm... moisturise me?
Sally Sparrow: Oh no Doctor, I'm naked
Doctor: Oh Sally, not infront of the frame
'Destroyed Casandra': I don't mind, I'm naked too

Sorry, went a bit Torchwood there. Where was, oh yes... Really? Seven quid for a frame? You're having a giraffe! Look I made me own!You can too! Don't say I don't give you anything.

When I was younger I used to be crazy about copyright-based-humour

p.s. Hello blog.

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Now playing: Joe Cornish - All Night Garage

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